Page 184 of The Ascended
He turned, slipping off his overcoat. "Because I'm tired of pretending,"
My eyes fell on the way his black shirt stretched against the width of his back. "Pretending what?"
"That I don't want you."
Five words. Five simple words that I had craved so badly.
"You just announced your engagement, Xül," I reminded him, the sentence sour on my tongue. "To all of divine society."
"Politics," he said dismissively, unfastening his cufflinks. "Nothing more."
"And this?" I gestured to the space between us, to the chamber that had clearly been designed with one purpose in mind. "What is this, then?"
He stalked toward me, each step reducing the distance between us. He didn't touch me, though every nerve ending in my skin screamed for him to.
"This," he said, his voice dropping to a register that vibrated through my bones, "is the only honest thing in this entire realm."
His scent enveloped me—but it was different from the dark wood and citrus. No this was richer. Like herbs and smoke and honey. It was almost too sweet.
"Do you know what it's like," he murmured, "to want something you shouldn't?"
Yes, I thought.You.
His hand rose, hovering near my face. The absence of his touch was more maddening than any caress could have been.
"Every time you enter a room," he said, his voice dropping lower as he finally touched my throat, "I feel it like a physical force. Every time you speak, I find myself leaning toward your voice like it's the only sound thatmatters."
His other hand found my waist, his touch tentative at first, then firmer as I didn't pull away. "I've tried to fight it. Tried to bury it."
"And yet here we are," I whispered, my own voice unrecognizable to my ears.
"Here we are," he agreed.
He guided me backward until I could see our reflection in the massive mirror—my eyes wide and dark with desire, my skin flushed, my lips parted. His larger frame engulfed mine.
"Tell me you don't feel it too," he said, his breath warm against my ear. "Tell me you don't lie awake thinking of my hands on your skin, my mouth on yours."
Heat stirred low and deep, unfolding through me. "I can't," I admitted, the truth torn from me. "I can't tell you that."
His fingers threaded through my hair, tilting my head back to meet his gaze directly. "Then stop fighting it," he urged. "Stop pretending this isn't exactly where you're meant to be."
"I’m still mortal, Xül," I reminded him. A last feeble protest. "This is forbidden."
"Not tonight," he said. "Tonight, we can have whatever we want."
"How—"
Both hands cupped my face. "I want you, Thais." His thumbs traced the curve of my cheekbones. "Now."
The admission undid me. I raised my hands to his chest, feeling the solid strength of him beneath the formal attire. The steady rhythm of his heart. "Why are you telling me this?"
"When I saw you with Axel…" His eyes turned savage. "Saw his hands on you, his mouth at your ear. Saw you smile at him the way you smile at me." His fingers tightened in my hair. "I realized I couldn't bear it. Couldn't stand the thought of him—of anyone—touching you."
"You have no right to be jealous," I said, though the knowledge that he was sent a thrill through me.
"None whatsoever," he agreed, his lips curving into a predatory smile. "And yet here I am, burning with it."
His mouth hovered above mine, not quite touching. "Tell me to stop," he challenged, his voice rough with restraint. "Tell me to take you back to the ball, and we'll never speak of this again."
