Page 84 of Riftborne
“You might as well be.”
We stood in silence, Ma unmoving, keeping her back to me. I could see the heat emanating from her palms.
“I’ll start looking for your replacement,” she said. The parchment she had been holding turned to ash and fell like snow onto the floor.
I winced as her words hit me. My mouth opened in protest, but I realized… she was right. I didn’t want to be here anymore. There really was nothing left to say.
I grabbed what was left of my belongings and rushed out the door without a backwards glance, breathing in the scent of smoke and burning ink as the door shut behind me.
CHAPTER 30
I madeit to the Compound with only a minute to spare.
Falling into step with the others, I allowed the sounds of pounding feet against the earth to calm my mind and ease the pain from what had just happened at the Apothecary.
My sour mood must have been noticeable to Raine and Briar because they both offered me space until the warm-up was complete.
It seemed pointless to bring up my argument with Ma to my friends here. It would seem so minuscule to what we are all facing. That was my old world.
My new world was filled with training, learning, and of course, the growing anxiety about the West, Wraiths, and when we would be deployed. I could barely sleep at night. The fear kept me in a constant state of consciousness.
“You good?” Briar asked as he sidled up to me, bumping my shoulder.
“I’m okay,” I responded, giving him my best reassuring glance. I wasn’t used to having people other than Osta or Ma check on me. Or talk to me at all, for that matter. It felt sodifferent… to have people in my corner. People who I could count on. People who could count on me.
I attempted to quell the pessimism that began snaking its way into my thoughts. Forming bonds would only make it that much harder if someone got hurt… if someone...
I pushed the thought away.
Raine, ever the force of nature, bounded up behind Briar, throwing her arms over his shoulders, and leaned in, her voice a loud whisper. “Did you both notice that a certainBaelor Soleilwas not at warm-up today?” She wiggled her eyebrows.
I looked around to confirm her statement, noticing Nazul seeming very out of place as he paced a few steps behind the group. It was odd to see Nazul looking like the outcast for once.
After the run, we made our way from the track back into the building. We were informed at our last session that we needed to meet Lieutenant Mercer in one of the many sparring rooms inside the Compound. Perhaps we were finally going to start learning combat, instead of spending all our time doing sprints and drills.
“Do you think he’s been inside with the Lieutenant?” I offered, keeping my voice low to match hers.
“Doubtful. Mercer would never let us slack on a warm-up. He would just keep Baelor after,” Briar responded, shaking his head.
As I pulled out my badge to show at the front gate, I heard a familiar voice.
“Fia?” Eron called, his face filled with confusion. He was in the process of entering the Compound, his arms heavy with deliveries.
I could only imagine his surprise as he took me in, standing in training leathers, surrounded by the other recruits.
My heart skipped a beat, and I froze.
I hadn’t even thought to inform Eron or Jacquelina of the changes that had taken place in my life. A sudden pang of guilt surfaced in my gut. I managed to push forward, approaching him as I nodded for the group to go on without me. His eyes were wide with shock, and a package slipped from his grasp.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” I said, leaning over to retrieve the fallen box.
“Fia, what areyoudoing here? Are you… in uniform?”
“I don’t have time to explain right now. I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll tell you everything later, but for now, I have to go. I really can’t be late,” I said, desperation ringing through my words.
Eron nodded before looking away. I glanced down, hesitating for a moment. But I didn’t know what else to do. What else to say. I returned to the gate and rushed inside. Guilt slammed into me, nearly knocking me over. He probably felt so confused. Maybe even betrayed. Every time I thought I was making progress in my personal life, some wave of disaster washed over me. I couldn’t win.
This day was completeshit.
