Page 69 of A Perfect Devon Pub
As Fiona was settling into bed, she took a moment to check her emails one final time. Her eyes scanned the subject lines. One stood out, pulling her out of her sleepy haze:
New exam date confirmed
It was from the CMS. She sat up straighter, her heart leaping. This was it – a fresh chance! A rush of excitement surged through her, like the first crisp sip of Sauvignon Blanc on a summer afternoon.
She clicked on the email, a pulse of anticipation in her fingertips. Her mind leaped ahead, imagining herself being congratulated by Elsa, or better still, Laurent. But as her eyes traced down the screen, the thrill ebbed, slowly replaced by a creeping doubt. Her hands hesitated above the keyboard.Could she really go through this again?
All those hours of study, going further into debt, the relentless tasting sessions ... She remembered the quiet dread that had knotted in her stomach just days earlier in the exam room. The thought of returning to that pressure felt suffocating, as if her ambitions were pressing her down.
Fiona took a shaky breath as the joy she’d felt only moments before slipped away like the last drops of a glass of fine wine. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the headboard, trying to find comfort from her memories of the evening: the gentle laughter of her family, all four of them lingering over the coffee cups, reluctant to end a memorable night. All evening, she had felt safe, cocooned, untouched by the exalted demands of the CMS.
In her mind, she pictured Josh coasting in on a board, pulsing with the thrill of surfing a perfect wave, and his words that day on the beach came back to her. ‘You only get one life. Live the life you want, not the one someone else dreams for you.’
Fiona felt a tear slip down her cheek, though it wasn’t from sadness. She brushed it away with the back of her hand. With a small, shaky sigh, she realized maybe she didn’t need to pursue this exam. That was a dream conjured by a mistaken need to keep achieving academic milestones. She loved wine, but there was no need to belong to the CMS to live her dream. She knew so much about wine already and found genuine joy in sharing that knowledge – in watching people’s faces light up as they discovered a perfect pairing or a hidden gem from a lesser-known region. Being an Advanced Sommelier might boost her ego and her salary, but it wouldn’t enhance her true passion. She didn’t need money; her parents had offered to repay her debts, and her job satisfaction had never come from credentials. She closed her laptop, feeling both lighter and warmer, as if her decision was settling around her like a soft blanket. Fiona shut her eyes and drifted off to sleep in minutes.
When Fiona arrived at Ru’s early the next morning, a light shone in the bay window. She stood outside, the wind nipping at her cheeks. Her gaze lingered on the horizon, where the water met the sky in a dull grey line. Below her, waves broke gently against the cliffs, but the soft sound did little to calm her nerves.
Would Ru listen to her, believe her, maybe even help her? Was he inside right now, wrestling with ways to identify the actual thief? Or had the accusations shattered his trust in her, and his agreement to meet nothing but a nod to their shared romance, a chance to say goodbye politely after their last bitter argument?
The ocean stretched endlessly before her and, in its vastness, she imagined her life stretching out without Ru’s love. The autumn winds seemed to mirror her thoughts, swirling unpredictably as she stood there, slivers of amber, yellow and red fluttering around her legs before drifting towards the cliff edge.
Uncertain of her reception, she traipsed up and down with her mind whirling, eroding her confidence, like a wildfire spreading across dry grass scorching the vegetation.
As Fiona paced, she thought of the irony: after all these years, she finally felt part of a family. Her parents’ subtle, quiet pride emerging in their careful questions about last night’s wine, their encouraging nods as she answered their questions about the theft. Now, just as she was finally embracing their support, she was losing the respect of the man she used to rely on and, despite her best efforts, still adored. A shiver ran through her, and she wrapped her coat tighter, feeling as though her heart were fraying with each gust of wind.
She glanced upwards and saw him looking down. His face looked taut. No smile. Her heart twisted. She had come to terms with the loss of his love, but she had clung to the fragile hope that she could preserve his respect. Now, even that felt lost. Fiona strode to the door, hearing the buzzer sound on the lock’srelease.
Thirty-one
Closing her eyes, Fiona took a calming breath, telling herself that Ru would help. He wouldn’t have agreed to meet if he didn’t intend to at least listen to her, but she couldn’t dislodge his judgemental rebuke fivenights earlier,nor the distant look in his eyesshe’d just seen. Ru would help her because it was in his interest too. With their names linked, if she fell from grace, he would surely follow.
The flat door was open. She climbed the stairs, counting each one as she plodded upwards. Halfway up, she smelled cinnamon toast and her spirits rose. She lifted her face. He was standing in the doorway, his arms open wide. His eyes locked onto hers radiating the same longing she’d been suppressing for weeks. Without a second thought, she ran to him, her heart pounding, drowning out the sound of her feet against the stairs. The moment she reached him, he pulled her close as if he never wanted to let go. She melted into him, her head resting against his chest, breathing him in, feeling the warmth and safety of his embrace. Gently he lifted her chin, his eyes searching hers for permission before he leaned down and kissed her, softly and tenderly at first, then deeper, full of all the unspoken words and emotions they hadn’t shared for months. Time seemed to stop, and in that moment, nothing else mattered but them.
He murmured into her hair, ‘What took you so long to get in touch?’
‘I ... I ... I thought you believed Rose,’ she sobbed into hisshirt.
Gently, he pushed her head away from his shoulder, his dark eyes looking down into hers. ‘How could you possibly think I would believe you were a thief?’
‘That night,’ she paused, trying to shake away the image, ‘you looked daggers at me, and then you snapped “that is pure evil” at me. But I have no idea how that Champagne got into my coat pocket – I thought it was a present from you!’
He reached out a hand and caressed her cheek. ‘Fi, I wasn’t looking at you when I said that. I was looking at the person who framed you. Those words were aimed at Kim.’
Fiona’s head crashed against his shoulder. Of course. She had heard those words with her eyes shut and, in her panic, had assumed they were aimed at her. ‘Kim? I guessed it was her who put the bottle in my pocket, but why? I don’t think she’s the thief – she doesn’t know the first thing about wine.’
‘Let’s not play detective now. We can do all that later.’
Fiona leaned against Ru. He was right. The only thing that mattered just now was the two of them. She tilted her face up towards him and he kissed her long and hard, moving his body against hers, sending shockwaves of desire through hers. She sighed. ‘Ru, I’ve missed you so much. I was so stupid to push you away. I’m so sorry.’
He pulled away, and his voice was tender as he said, ‘Fi, you’re not just saying that are you?’ he whispered, ‘I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret later.’
How could she ever regret making love with the man she adored?
When she woke, the first thing Fiona saw was the face of the person she loved most, and his eyes were smiling down at her. Her heart soared. She could never match Ru’s talent or his success, but that wasn’t what had driven them apart.She saw now what she couldn’t before: his protection had started as something beautiful – shielding her from a world he knew would wound her fragile confidence. But that protection had slowly morphed into something else – decisions made on her behalf, opportunities quietly redirected, her voice gradually muted. What began as shelter became a cage, with Ru standing as both guardian and gatekeeper. And to prevent herself either disappearing completely into his shadow or becoming an anchor weighing down his brilliance she had been forced to break free. Their break-up enabled them both to change: for him to recognize that his way of loving her had kept her from discovering her own strength, and for her to discover that strength.
Ru stroked her face, tracing a line over her cheek. ‘You’ve been asleep for nearly an hour.’
Recalling how quickly she’d fallen asleep at Ivy’s the night before, she realized it was becoming remarkably easy to sleep. But then she did have quite a lot of sleep to catch up on.
