Page 77 of Adrift in Iceland
‘Have you heard from Astrid?’
He shook his head, bracing himself for the blow. ‘I guess she’s finished in Costa Rica now?’
‘She’s in Tromsø, staying with her friend while she waits for her new job to start.’
‘She has a new job?’ Suddenly he wanted to know.
‘Yes, it’s a three-year contract working in Greenland over the winter. I can’t think of anything worse, but she’s very excited about the prospect of living in a wilderness for a few months.’
‘What’s she doing up there?’ It was easier to ask more, now that he’d started.
‘I don’t know. Something to do with narwhals.’
‘Narwhals?’ said Eva. ‘Wow. That’s amazing.’
‘So she won’t be back to pack up her apartment?’ Leifur asked.
‘Aren’t you two in touch?’ Gudrun said.
Everyone was looking at him now. ‘No, it was better to have a clean break.’
‘That makes sense,’ said Isak, to Leifur’s surprise. ‘If she’s always working away, you’d never see each other.’
‘She almost stayed,’ said Gudrun. ‘It’s the longest she’s been back for years, and I know she misses it.’ She looked at Leifur, telling him in one glance that it was him she was talking about. Astrid missed him.
And he missed her. The ache in his heart was there all thetime, and he’d learnt to live with it. But now, having thought about her, which he tried not to do too often, it grew to an intensity he hadn’t experienced since they’d said goodbye.
He drove Eva and Isak back into town and, for the first time since Astrid had left, headed to her apartment. He kept the key in a zipped pocket inside his coat, and it had been untouched since she gave it to him. Leaving his truck on the road outside, he unlocked the door and headed up the stairs.
Although she’d said she was going to pack everything up, she’d left the bed made and some cushions and blankets on the sofa. It was enough for him to feel like she could walk through the door any minute.
He sat on the sofa and grabbed a cushion, giving it a quick sniff to see if there was any trace of her. He laughed softly to himself. What was he doing? Nothing had changed. Their situation — the very reason they couldn’t be together — was exactly the same as before.
Except he knew she wasn’t coming back now, and he knew that until tonight, he’d been harbouring a hope that she might. Sighing, he got up and ran the tap for a minute before filling a glass and drinking it down in one. Since he was here, he might as well stay the night. It was late, and he had to be back on the boat in a few hours. The bed here was definitely more comfortable than the berth onBrimfaxi.
In the morning, he made the bed and let himself out of the apartment feeling like it was yet another goodbye, but this time, he had more of a sense of closure.
He drove his truck to the harbour, parked and headed for the boat. His phone vibrated in his pocket, so he pulled it out, wondering who would text him so early in the morning.
Astrid: Sleep well?
Leifur: How did you know?
Astrid: Sol. This is the first time you've stayed?
He felt as if she was asking, why now? After four months?And it was hard to answer that in a text. He typed out a couple of messages and deleted them. Then, before he could talk himself out of it, he called her.
‘I heard you’re going to Greenland, so I know now you’re not coming back.’
‘You weren’t supposed to be waiting for me.’
He exhaled. ‘Well, I guess I was.’
There was silence for a moment.
‘It’s okay,’ he said, once he realised there was nothing either of them could say that changed what they’d known four months ago.
‘I miss you,’ she said.
