Page 74 of Adrift in Iceland
‘You could have.’
She smiled and shrugged. ‘I’m not very good at being forward.’
‘Neither am I.’
‘Kind of a miracle we got to where we did, then.’
‘Want to sit with me now?’ He held out a hand. She took it and jumped onto the sand. They held hands and walked back to where he’d been sitting. ‘Take a seat. I’ll get you a beer.’
He grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and headed back outside. He stood for a moment looking at Astrid with the sun behind her, hair lifting off her shoulders in the breeze, and wondered what on earth he was doing letting her go.
‘Here.’ He passed her a beer and settled himself down next to her.
‘Thanks. And just to say, I’m not here for anything except to watch the sunset with you in the place where we first met.’
He put his arm around her and pulled her to him. ‘That’s perfect.’ It was good to be clear about where they stood. And a relief to know there was a line drawn, because when they’d made love on the boat the other day, it had felt like a goodbye and he had accepted that. Since Astrid had got out of the boat here, he’d been anxious that this might turn into the same thing, and while that would have been wonderful, it opened him up to too much hope that this equally might not be the last time. He couldn’t cope with endless goodbyes, and he loved Astrid all the more for coming here and understandingthat.
‘We didn’t do enough of this,’ she said, snuggling into his side.
‘We would have. We’ve only had a couple of days off since we met.’
‘I think it’s a good sign that we managed to work together and not get fed up with each other,’ she said.
‘I think so too.’ Although who knew how it would have gone if they’d had longer. Maybe they would have seen too much of each other. Perhaps work would have been the only thing they had in common, the only thing they talked about. He could tell himself these things, but he knew it wasn’t true. The truth was, they had so much to discover about each other, and they’d barely started. He was greedy for every conversation, every moment they could be alone together and every time she smiled only for him.
‘Will you be alright with Isak?’
‘Of course. I have to give him a chance, and maybe it’ll be different this time because the work is different, less pressured.’
‘I hope so. I hate the thought that I’ve put you in this situation.’
He hated it too, but he didn’t blame her. Isak was family, and Leifur would always feel an obligation to him, or at least to their mother, to help him out if he could.
‘It will go one of two ways. He will either embrace the opportunity and be the perfect employee or he will take advantage. I hope he proves me wrong because I’m not the only boss he has to answer to anymore.’ He took his arm away from Astrid, put his beer between his thighs and leant back on his elbows. ‘Let’s not spend our last evening talking about Isak.’
‘Thank you for not hating me for leaving.’
‘Astrid, I’ll never hate you. I know it’s the wrong time forus. And I also know that the right time might never come and it wouldn’t be right for either of us to wait. I think we had something very special. Something I don’t think I will find again, but if you had the chance at that with someone else, someone who is where you are, you should take it.’
She turned her head slightly towards him, but kept her eyes on the water. ‘I won’t find anyone else like you.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘I know that better than anything, Leifur. But I also know I can’t stay because of you. I never thought I’d have to choose between two things that I love.’
It could have hurt him to hear that he had come second, but he knew how much her work meant to her, and he couldn’t be angry about that. And it wasn’t as if he was willing to change anything about his life to make things work.
‘I’m doing the same, but staying here instead of being willing to take the risk and come with you.’
‘I wouldn’t want you to do that.’
‘I know. But that’s why I understand, and that’s why you have to go.’
She leant over and settled her head on his shoulder. ‘I wonder if we’ll always love each other because of that?’
‘Falling out of love with you is going to be hard work. I might not start right away,’ he said, planting a kiss on the top of her head.
‘Ditto.’
