Page 78 of Wild Swimming at Croftwood Lake
‘It’s such a relief to talk to someone who understands,’ Nora said, the tears falling again. ‘Archie’s first thought was that we need to get married so the baby’s not illegitimate. He thinks that solves everything.’
‘What do you want?’
‘I want to not be pregnant.’
‘Have you thought…’
‘I don’t want to do that.’
‘No, you just wish it hadn’t happened in the first place.’
Nora nodded. ‘If it had happened with anyone else, we could keep things how they are. Manage things between us without needing to get married or move into the sodding Court. But because Archie’s who he is, this stuff matters to him. And it didn’t matter to either of us particularly before now. We could have carried on forever dipping in and out of each other’s houses, like you and Toby do. That’s how I pictured things.’
‘I’m sure Archie thought that too. He’s not so set in his ways that he was insisting on making an honest woman of you before. Perhaps there’s a compromise to be made. I’m sure you can do something these days to make sure the baby’s seen as the heir, assuming that’s the driving factor, without having to go all in lady of the manor.’
‘Well, if there is I haven’t thought of it yet.’
‘It’s such early days. You have plenty of time to think about what you want to do and plenty of time to talk things through with Archie.’
‘It’s so ridiculous getting pregnant by accident at my age.’
‘Not at all. Can I ask, did you and Julian ever think about having kids?’
‘I used to think about it, but it never seemed like the right time. And on some level, I knew he was too selfish to be a father.’
‘Whereas Archie…’
‘I know,’ Nora said, managing a smile as she thought of him. ‘He’ll be amazing. That’s not what I’m worried about.’
‘Look, I know I had my boys when I was much younger than you, but it still had a massive impact on my life. Mike was far from ready to be a father and right from the start, it wasn’t a partnership. I had to bring those boys up by myself and most of the time it was a slog, especially once Mike left me. But they were worth putting my life on hold for. No one can tell you what it’s like to be a mother, Nora. It will change your life, and at the moment, you only know how it’s going to change what you have now for the poorer. You probably feel you’ve only just begun your new life, on your own, without Julian, and now it’s being ripped away from you.’
‘That’s it exactly,’ said Nora, sniffing. ‘I feel like I’ve hit my stride for the first time in years. And before Archie came along, I thought that’s all I needed. I never imagined he could change my life for the better, but he has.’
‘Whatever happens, you have to do what’s best for you. Think about what’s going to make you happy. Don’t think about Archie and all that baggage he comes with. Think about how you see the future that you want working. With the baby, if that’s what you want.’
‘I do want the baby. But I want my work too.’
‘Nora, plenty of women are working mothers. And you’re in the unique position of being your own boss. I know you’ve got the factory, but from what I can gather that pretty much runs itself.’
‘That’s true. And I can take the baby to the factory when I need to go. It’s the other stuff. That I can lose myself in throwing whenever I want to. I can bugger off to Stoke and experiment when the urge hits me to start a new collection.’
‘You’re not going to lose your freedom.’ Hilary said. ‘You just have to organise yourself a bit differently. But you’ll have help. I’m sure Archie will help with childcare.’
‘I don’t know. He’s so traditional. I expect he had a nanny when he was little.’
‘A nanny would have been amazing. I’d have happily gone along with that tradition when mine were little. Right. More tea?’
29
ARCHIE WENT DOWNSTAIRS for dinner reeling from the news that he was going to be a father. He was desperate to share the news, but wanted to respect the fact that Nora wasn’t ready. Whether it was because she was feeling poorly, or whether the news had overwhelmed her and hadn’t quite sunk in yet, he was a little sad that she hadn’t been more excited.
‘Darling, is Nora joining us?’ Constance asked as Archie escorted her to the dining table.
‘She sends her apologies, she’s not feeling well, Mama.’
‘Oh dear. This bug does seem to be lingering.’
‘Are you sure she’s not pregnant?’ Betsy said.
