Page 77 of Wild Swimming at Croftwood Lake
‘Of course I am.’ She tried to smile, wanting to reassure him, but it was all still too raw. ‘I can’t celebrate yet, it’s been such a shock.’ Saying she was happy was a step too far. It wasn’t that she didn’t want the baby; not having it wasn’t an option for her. She knew she could love a baby and that Archie would make the most loving father she could wish for, but at the same time, this news was the start of grieving for the life that wasn’t going to be hers anymore. It was selfish to worry about how it was going to affect her, but an unplanned pregnancy at her age was going to upset the course of her life. Just as she had established the business, she was going to have to take time away from it, maybe even stop with the bespoke side of things and settle for overseeing the production line. And she needed to think all of this through.
‘You go down to dinner. I’ll see myself out.’
He kissed her and then went over to the doorway. ‘I’ll call you later,’ he said.
Nora couldn’t help herself. She started crying. Did he understand where she was coming from at all? They’d had such a connection but now she felt as if she was in this on her own, battling to understand what the future might look like when to Archie it was all so clear; get married, move into the Court, live happily ever after.
Once she’d had a cry, she felt a little bit better and headed downstairs while she knew the family would still be eating dinner and she wouldn’t be intercepted. As she headed through the kitchens, aiming for the back door, Ursula caught her.
‘Nora, I don’t want to pry, but if there’s anything I can do,’ she said, with a sympathetic look on her face.
In the face of Ursula being so kind, the tears threatened again. Nora rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes. ‘Thank you, that’s so kind but I’m okay. I’m heading home.’ She paused. ‘Keep an eye on Archie for me?’
Ursula nodded and laid a hand briefly on Nora’s arm. ‘Of course. He’ll be fine, you mustn’t worry.’
He would be fine, she knew that. His excitement about the prospect of becoming a father outweighed anything else that might be concerning about becoming a first-time parent at the age of forty-one.
Nora thanked Ursula and, managing a tearful smile, headed outside to where she’d left her car at the side of the house.
Going home suddenly didn’t seem like a very inviting prospect. What she really needed was to talk things through with someone who could listen to her woes without judging her.
‘Are you at home?’ she asked when Hilary picked up.
‘Yes. Toby’s away for the weekend on some work-related golfing thing. Do you fancy coming round?’
‘I’d love to.’
‘Brilliant! I’ll put the kettle on.’
Nora smiled. If Hilary had suggested opening a bottle of wine, that might have been the last straw.
‘I thought you were staying at Archie’s this weekend, what with the dreaded sister visiting,’ she said as soon as she opened the door.
‘I was feeling under the weather. Nothing catching,’ she added. Telling someone other than Archie that she was pregnant felt weird.
‘Bit too full on was it?’ Hilary led the way into the lounge and turned the television off. She sank into the corner of the sofa and Nora did the same.
‘Betsy’s okay. I mean, she’s exactly what I expected but I didn’t see much of them.’
‘What’s up?’ Hilary frowned. ‘Has something happened with you and Archie? You’re not just under the weather.’
‘I’m pregnant.’
‘Oh my god! Are you? God, Nora.’
Hilary’s reaction was exactly what Nora had hoped. She hadn’t jumped from shocked to congratulating her, hadn’t glossed over the brutal fact that this was the most shocking thing that could have happened at the beginning of a new relationship. At the beginning of a new start.
‘I know. I can’t get my head round it. I’ve been on the pill forever. I really thought it was just a bug, then I overheard Betsy telling Constance that she thought I could be pregnant, which thankfully Constance dismissed, and it made me wonder. Even so, I didn’t think for a minute I would be.’
‘And you’ve told Archie?’
‘Just told him. He’s thrilled. Totally oblivious as to why I might not be. And then merrily went down to dinner when he was called.’
‘God.’
‘I know.’
‘If you weren’t pregnant, I’d pour us both a brandy.’
