Page 86 of Wild Swimming at Croftwood Lake
‘God, no! Do you think I should?’
‘Yes,’ Val said firmly. ‘I hate to break it to you but you’re what they call a geriatric mother so they’ll keep an extra special eye on you. It’s best to get everything checked out just in case.’
‘Geriatric?’ Could things get any worse?
Nora lost herself in throwing for the rest of the day. It gave her time to think and helped her relax. The more she thought about it, the more she wondered whether she’d been unfair to Archie. Yes, perhaps his marriage suggestion had been unwelcome and he shouldn’t have robotically gone down to dinner at the worst possible moment, but he had said sorry, so he’d obviously had time to think about things while she’d been at Hilary’s. What had he said about the stables? Was he suggesting they turn them into somewhere for them to live? She couldn’t imagine he would feel happy about leaving Constance in the big house alone, even with Mrs Milton and Ursula there. And that wasn’t what she objected to anyway. Constance was great, but starting a new relationship, fast-tracked by having a baby so soon after meeting and then moving into somewhere that was more museum than home, with his mother. It was a lot.
That evening, while she was relaxing in her hotel room, indulging in some mindless television, she suddenly felt lonely. She missed Archie. Maybe she didn’t feel ready to make decisions, but they weren’t decisions she should make alone. That wasn’t fair. Of course it felt as if all of this was going to have a bigger impact on her than it was on Archie, but shutting him out while she worked out how she felt wasn’t helping. She realised she needed to talk things through. And that could only be with him.
I’m sorry about this morning. I’ll be home tomorrow. Come to mine for dinner? x
I’d love to. I’ll bring dinner with me. A x
Nora immediately felt better. The next day, she already felt as if a weight had been lifted and found she was looking forward to seeing Archie and talking things through now that the immediate shock had worn off. She had thrown like a whirling dervish for two days and the drying room was full of pieces for her current collection so that she could build up a stockpile, and to a lesser extent her new experimental collection which still needed some refining before it was ready to be unveiled to anyone aside from Neil and Val.
‘You’re off then?’ Val said when Nora sought her out to say goodbye.
‘Yes. Archie’s coming over for dinner so we can talk.’
Val grinned. ‘That’s good. You look happy about that.’
‘I am. I’ve missed him.’
‘That’s a good sign. I’m sure you two will work out a fine plan,’ Val said, giving her a hug. ‘Take care of yourself.’
‘Will do. See you next week.’
Nora had time to shower when she got home, blasted her hair with the hairdryer and then put on her most comfortable clothes; leggings and a long oversized hoodie that had “I’m kiln it” emblazoned on the front. Archie rang the doorbell just as she was coming back downstairs.
‘You could have used your key,’ said Nora, sad that he thought things had changed that much.
‘It didn’t seem right,’ he said, coming in and kissing her on the cheek. ‘You look wonderful. How are you feeling?’
‘I’m fine, thanks. Less nauseous today.’
‘Good. I’ve brought dinner courtesy of Mrs Milton. It’s a shepherd’s pie.’
‘Lovely.’ Nora led the way to the kitchen, feeling that there was a level of awkwardness she probably should have expected, but hadn’t. She took the dish from Archie and put it in the oven to warm through.
‘Cup of tea?’
‘Thank you,’ said Archie, sitting down at the kitchen table.
‘I’m sorry about yesterday at the lake. It wasn’t fair of me to make you wait before we could talk about things.’ She wanted to tell him that she’d missed him but he seemed a little distant and she could see in his eyes that he was uneasy.
‘No, it’s perfectly understandable. I should have respected you when you asked for time to think.’
Nora sat down and reached her hand across the table. It felt like a test. Because if he didn’t reach out, that said everything about how he was feeling. She would have pushed him away too far. Hurt him too much.
But he reached for her hand and leant towards her. ‘I know this is harder for you than it is for me and that you’ve had so much change in your life recently. Our relationship is so new, having a baby is a frightening prospect.’
Nora could only nod and squeeze his hand. She was overwhelmed with relief that he understood after all. He was her Archie, the man who was tender, loving and committed to her. Not the Archie who’d left her in his bedroom to go down for dinner. Whatever he’d told her, she knew it had been shock that had driven that. He’d been clinging on to the closest, easiest thing to do next that could reassure him that everything was still the same; dinner.
‘I don’t want to do this alone. I want to find a way to do it together but I don’t know what that means. There’s so much to think about.’
‘We don’t have to get married if that isn’t what you want,’ Archie said. ‘The baby should be something wonderful for us, not something that comes between us.’
‘But it brings all the differences between our lives into focus. All of the things we didn’t need to consider or think about before. A lot of that matters now. But I’m sorry for saying I don’t want to marry you. I love you and I wanted that to be enough.’
