Page 12 of Wild Swimming at Croftwood Lake
Nora ran down the stairs and picked the box up, hoping to stick it under her arm and leave as quickly as possible, but it was too heavy to make a fast or graceful exit.
‘Let me give you a hand,’ Julian said, heaving it off the floor.
She stalked out of the house and opened the boot of her car, then sat in the driver’s seat while he put the box in the boot and closed it. Then, just as he was about to come to her window to have a last word, she drove away. She could see him in the rear-view mirror, holding his hands in the air in exasperation.
Until now, she thought she’d come to terms with the feeling that she’d wasted almost twenty years of her life with someone who didn’t love her the way she’d hoped. Hadn’t loved her enough to support her in the good times, let alone through anything bad. But now it looked like Julian had moved on long before she’d noticed. Long before she’d realised that he didn’t love her anymore, and long before she’d stopped loving him. And that made her so angry.
Because she’d thought it would take longer at Julian’s, Nora was early for meeting Liz at the sea pool, so she took a walk along the beach first. She needed to organise her thoughts and calm down. She wanted to enjoy the swim and at the moment was feeling too full of rage and indignation for that to happen. After she parked the car in the marine lake car park, she walked along the length of the pool until it gave way to the beach. Since it wasn’t a particularly sunny day, and the forecast was for rain later, there weren’t too many people around. Nora loved the feeling of having the beach to herself. Luckily, the tide was out, but there was a keen wind coming off the sea, making some big waves. It was the best kind of day for a swim because you felt like you were in the sea, yet were protected in the pool from the ferocity of the waves – until later when the tide came in and the sea would over-top the dividing wall. You had to be careful swimming in those conditions even in the pool, in case you got pounded into the wall. By the time she had walked up and down the beach, taking lungfuls of sea air, she felt better and was looking forward to seeing Liz.
‘He’s moved in with someone? Who is she?’ Liz was exactly the right amount of incredulous to make Nora feel justified in having felt so angry.
‘I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I didn’t want him to think it mattered to me. I doubt I’d know her anyway, but whoever she is, she’s got a very nice house in Clifton overlooking the gorge.’
They swam side by side to the far end of the pool, then stopped at the edge for a breather, which was just an excuse to carry on chatting.
‘The thing is,’ Nora said, ‘I don’t really mind that he’s moved on so quickly. If anything, it confirms to me that I did the right thing because I know I don’t love him anymore. The thing that makes me angry is that he must have been seeing her when he was giving me a hard time about me wanting to split up.’
‘You think so?’
‘Yes!’ said Nora, feeling as if she was having an epiphany. ‘And even if I give him the benefit of the doubt on the timeline, it’s still only four months from me initiating the conversation about the fact things might be over between us, to him living with someone else. Four months.’
‘At least you can forgive yourself. He was gaslighting you, making you feel bad for wanting to end things when that must have been what he wanted too,’ Liz said.
‘It sounds so dramatic, but you’re right. And I have been feeling guilty.’
‘But not anymore.’
‘Not anymore!’ Nora shouted into the wind.
They began swimming back. Nora felt lighter. As much as it hurt to think that Julian had been that manipulative, she could let go of the feeling that it all ended because of her.
‘You know, if you hadn’t been selling the house, things probably wouldn’t have happened that fast with him and his new woman,’ Liz said. ‘Your place did sell incredibly quickly.’
‘True. Well, good luck to her.’
‘That’s the spirit. Sod them!’ Liz shouted, startling a couple of people nearby.
‘Sod them!’ Nora shouted, laughing.
‘Come on, let’s get out before we turn to ice.’
Nora had forgotten how much more fun it was swimming with someone else. Perhaps she ought to ask Hilary if she’d be up for it next time she saw her. It might be nice to start a little community around swimming in the lake.
7
ARCHIE STOOD LOOKING up at the roof, his hand shielding the sun from his eyes, as he watched the man from the roofing company assess the latest batch of repairs that were needed. He’d been hoping to delay it until later in the summer, but a deluge of rain the night before last had resulted in one of the bedroom ceilings bowing with the weight of the water in quite an alarming way. Luckily — or unluckily — it was his mother’s room so they had realised fairly quickly. If it had been one of the unoccupied rooms, they may have been dealing with a ceiling collapse which would have been a much more costly repair. As it was, he’d had to go up into the attics himself and scoop the water into a bucket using a dustpan to avoid that happening.
Simon the roofer stood in a gully between the points of the roof and called down to Archie. ‘I don’t know if you’ve seen, but you’ve got a couple of broken chimney pots up here. I’ll take some photos, show you when I come down.’
‘Thank you,’ said Archie, although why he was thanking the man for adding to the eventual bill, he didn’t know. His manners were automatic though, even when he felt far from being polite. And obviously it wasn’t this chap’s fault, but it didn’t help that Archie knew he was mentally rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect of handing over an inflated bill just because of which house it was.
While he waited for Simon to be escorted down through the house by Ursula, Archie shoved his hands in his pockets and paced the lawn. Each determined stride helped the stress ebb away slightly, but these days he never felt relaxed. There was always something new to be worried about.
‘Some missing tiles, is it?’ Archie asked optimistically when Simon joined him.
‘And then some! You’ve got some flashing missing from one gulley. Looks like it’s been nicked.’
‘We had some of the lead stolen a few years ago and it was replaced with something else.’
