Page 56 of Ignited in Iceland
Because nothing had changed at all. It was still a hypothetical situation that he was getting upset about. She had to make him understand that.
‘I know,’ she said, as calmly as she could, trying to hold back tears that were threatening to spill. ‘I’m not asking you to stay here for me. I’m not asking you for anything, Siggi. I heard you when you said this wasn’t going to become anything.’ And if she hadn’t known that before this conversation, she knew now. ‘I’m sorry. Thank you for breakfast. I need to go.’
She stood up, grabbed her coat off the back of the chair and ran outside.
‘Iris!Skítt!’
She heard him try to follow her, but he got caught up in having to pay the bill, giving her valuable time to put some space between them.
At the first opportunity, she headed up one of the small side streets that led off Laugavegur so that when Siggi left the restaurant, he wouldn’t see her. Because now, the tears were falling down her cheeks and she didn’t want him to see the effect he’d had on her. She was freezing. She stood there for a moment, not sure where to go, then pulled her coat on. He’d be sure to assume she’d go back to the hotel. It was better to stay away until she’d gathered herself and thought about what she would say. What could she say? She’d told him he wouldn’t factor in any of her decisions and though he’d looked hurt, he’d made it clear that was what he wanted. Whether she stayed or not, what she and Siggi had was over.
18
HAVING ABANDONED HER much-needed breakfast, Iris went into the first coffee shop she came across, Te & Kaffi, which was further along Laugavegur. She was sure that Siggi would be back at the hotel by now, so the coast was probably clear. She bought a flat white and a cinnamon bun and sat at the table furthermost from the door, where it was dark enough that no one would notice her red eyes.
She should have expected this. Shehadexpected this. She was just an idiot for thinking that the feelings she and Siggi had for one another could overcome his typical commitment-phobe reaction. And she was an idiot for thinking that she could have a fling with someone and not fall head over heels for them. There was always going to be an end, and it was always going to hurt. It had come sooner and harder than she’d expected, that’s all.
The important thing now was not to let this define what happened next. She was on the verge of a career-defining moment. That was the most important thing. She’d been single for so long, she could easily switch back into that old mindset. She had got over Patrick, and this was no different. In fact, it should be easier because she’d only known Siggi for a matter of days, for goodness sake. How could she even begin to feel heartbroken when that was the case? But she did feel a little bit heartbroken and the only way she knew to deal with that was distraction. By the time she’d finished her coffee, Siggi probably would have been to and left the hotel and she could go back therein peace and spend the rest of the day writing her report. This is what she should be doing. Concentrating on work.
Before she left the coffee shop, Iris went to the bathroom to check how she looked. Not too bad, considering. Her eyes looked okay, but she looked sad. She tried to give herself a peppy smile, which she couldn’t manage without looking like a sad puppy, but she made herself laugh. What did she have to cry about, anyway? Even without Siggi, she was still better off than she’d been a couple of weeks ago. She’d never been more excited about work, and she might finally see the back of Jay as a result.
She walked back along Laugavegur towards her hotel. It was nice to feel like she was getting her bearings. As she walked past one of the shops, she noticed a pretty mug in the window. It was large, colourful and something that Iris felt was absolutely essential to making herself feel better.
The shop was full of beautiful things. Iris picked up the mug and clutched it to her chest while she browsed everything else that was on offer. It was a shame she didn’t have her own place anymore, although it was probably a blessing for her bank balance. She picked up a candle that was set into a holder made of lava. That would be a great souvenir. Then she decided she’d buy one for her parents and her brothers as well. It wasn’t often she went anywhere that had beautiful shops like this, so she made the most of it. Perhaps the retail therapy would help boost her mood.
‘Can I take those over to the counter for you?’
‘Oh, thank you.’
‘Ah, Iris! It is good to see you again.’
Iris took a moment to place the woman. It was Gudrun from the open mic night she’d been to with Siggi. She was part of his group of friends.
‘Gudrun.’
‘It is so nice to see Siggi with you. He has not been so happy for a long time.’
Iris didn’t feel it was her place to have to explain to Gudrun what had happened. She was Siggi’s friend and would obviously have to take his side.
‘Are you alright?’ Gudrun was looking at her in concern, and it tipped Iris over the edge.
The tears fell down her cheeks again before she could stop them. ‘I’m sorry. God, how embarrassing!’ She wiped her eyes and tried to laugh it off, but inside, she was as devastated as she’d been when she’d left the restaurant. Apparently, half an hour to herself and a new mug wasn’t going to help after all.
‘Come with me,’ said Gudrun, expertly taking Iris’s shopping from her, and leaving it at the cash desk. She muttered something in Icelandic to the man behind the counter and took Iris’s arm, leading her to some narrow stairs that went into the basement of the shop.
‘I’m sorry, I just need a minute,’ said Iris, taking the chair that Gudrun offered. They were in a tiny office which had a desk with a computer on it, a couple of easy chairs and a bigger swivel chair that was tucked under the desk.
‘What has he done?’
‘Nothing,’ Iris said, shaking her head, at the same time wondering why Gudrun would assume that her being upset was to do with Siggi.
‘Come on, you can tell me. I know when a woman has been upset by a man. He might be Olafur’s friend, but we have to stick together. I love Siggi but he has no clue about relationships. That is how I know that it is him.’ Gudrun was beginning to sound cross. Iris wasn’t sure she was going to be fobbed off.
‘We had a misunderstanding, that’s all.’ Unfortunately, her mind flicked back to the moment when Siggi had felt the needto reiterate that she shouldn’t make any decisions with him in mind, and a gulping sob escaped.
Gudrun held out a box of tissues. ‘Iris. I am going to tell you about Siggi and maybe it will help you to understand him. I am not telling you any of this to excuse his behaviour. This is for you. So that you know the problem lies with him.’
Iris blew her nose. It was on the tip of her tongue to say to Gudrun that really, it wasn’t her business what made Siggi tick, but actually she wanted to know.
