Page 93 of Twilight at Croftwood Library
‘Lois, I can promise you now that there is no-one more important to me than you are. I want to be with you and I’m willing to do whatever that takes. I’ll move to London with you, I’ll be a barista at Starbucks while you work in your dream job because you’ll land that, no question.’ He smiled briefly and Lois could see how much he believed in her.
‘What about the coffee house?’
‘I mean it. I can make it work if that’s what it takes.’
She could see that he did mean it and she wanted to believe him. And he was offering to move to London of all things. Leave his business for her, his life in Croftwood.
‘Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,’ she said. ‘It’s just an interview.’
‘They’ll want you. They’d be mad not to.’ He took her hands in his. ‘I love you.’
It was what she’d wanted to hear for so long. What she had known was true on the night of the awards ceremony even though neither of them had said it. Now that she finally had it in her grasp, why was she faltering? She could have thrown herself into Oliver’s arms as soon as she’d known it was over between him and Amy but she hadn’t.
‘The thing is, I need to do this by myself, Oliver. I can’t keep living my life around what everyone else is doing and fitting in with that.’
‘I meant what I said. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.’
‘I know you will.’ She didn’t think she’d ever met anyone as fiercely loyal as Oliver. ‘But I need to go to London and see what happens next for me, by myself.’
Oliver’s face fell but although Lois felt guilty for turning him away and terrified that now she was the one throwing away the future she had thought she wanted, she wasn’t going to change her mind. She needed to know whether she could get the job in London. It was the first time she’d ever reached for something she’d never thought would be within her grasp and now that she knew how fulfilling it was to succeed at work, she wanted the challenge of seeking out something else just as special on her own. So that it would be her win, not something that had happened because she was the only person who couldn’t say no to Robert.
‘Look, I need some time. I’m not saying that to hurt you,’ she said, squeezing his fingers in hers as she saw the despair in his eyes. ‘When I saw this job listed a couple of days ago, it felt like fate. Like a light at the end of the tunnel when everything else was going wrong. I have to see it through.’
‘I understand, Lois, I do.’ He dropped her hands and gave her a fierce hug.
She could feel his breath as he sighed into her neck, and she pulled him closer.
‘I’ll be back for the next book club,’ she said into his chest. ‘Let’s just see what happens. Is that okay?’
He pulled away, kneaded his brow with his fingers and nodded as Lois prepared herself to watch him leave all over again. It was hard, but this time she knew whatever happened was in her hands and it made the moment bittersweet rather than heart-breaking.
‘Bye Oliver.’
‘Bye Lois. Good luck tomorrow.’ He managed to smile although his eyes were full of tears, and she hoped she wasn’t breaking his heart.
Lois stood outside the London Library looking up at the facade which hid the magic it held within. She’d spent the train journey from Worcester trying to decide what she would do if she got the job and then what would happen if she didn’t. There was no clear thinking involved at all, it was a huge seesawing of decisions whirring around in her mind and it was all she could think about.
She went inside and headed to the desk, announcing herself to a friendly-looking man who asked her to take a seat.
As she waited, she couldn’t help but think back to the night of the awards ceremony. She’d felt the same when she walked in today as she had that night which could only be a good sign and the thought of actually working here sent a thrill right through her.
‘Lois? Hi, I’m Georgie, great to meet you.’ She held out her hand for Lois to shake. ‘Follow me, can I get you a coffee?’
‘That would be great, thanks.’ Lois followed Georgie through the library to a small room which was lined with bookshelves and had a large, low table surrounded by three well-worn leather armchairs. Georgie had a very sleek, shiny ponytail which swung from side to side as she walked. She didn’t look like any librarian Lois had come across before, wearing skinny black jeans with high-heeled knee boots which Lois could only dream about being able to walk in and a long, cream, cowl-necked sweater but she felt at ease despite her underlying nerves at it being an interview.
‘Take a seat,’ said Georgie, leaving her phone and sheaf of papers on the table. ‘I won’t be a sec. Milk and sugar in the coffee?’
‘Oh, just milk, thanks.’ While she waited, she tried to imagine what it would be like to be here every day. Would it still seem as amazing? Did Georgie feel like that about the place?
‘Right, here we go.’ Georgie set the coffee on the table, picked up her papers and put them on her lap. ‘So, Lois. To introduce myself properly, I’m the operations manager of the library. My background is in business, and I’m sure you know that because this is a private library, we have slightly different priorities.’ She smiled in a way that Lois found slightly patronising. ‘I have to admit I was super-intrigued when I saw your application. You’ve worked in libraries for your whole career so you know this is an entry-level position but the last part of your CV was the most interesting part, I mean, what you’ve achieved at Croftwood Library, that was a major turnaround. I guess I was curious, that’s really why I asked you to come in.’
Lois’s nerves cranked back up to the level they’d been that morning. Did Georgie think that she had some clever agenda?
‘Well, I’m at a point where I need a change. What I’ve done at Croftwood has come to a natural end, so it feels like time to move on. This library is amazing and when I saw the job advert, I had to apply.’ Lois smiled. ‘There’s nothing more to it than that. I came here for the awards ceremony and fell in love with the place.’ Might as well be honest.
‘Because I have to be honest with you, Lois. I hate to assume anything about your situation, but the salary is less than you’re on now so unless you’re secretly a woman of means,’ she said grinning, ‘I think you would struggle to make the move to London. Obviously, that’s none of my business but I just want you to be across all the facts.’
Lois had known that would probably be the case but hearing it for certain dashed her hopes somewhat. And Georgie was right; it was none of her business whether Lois could or couldn’t afford to live on the salary they were offering.
