Page 56 of Twilight at Croftwood Library
‘I’m not hungry.’ Her eyes stayed glued to the screen.
‘Okay. I’m going to order a Chinese. Sure you don’t want anything?’
‘I’m fine.’
He rang his order through, adding on a couple of the vegetable pancake rolls he knew she liked and a tray of chips and curry sauce because it was that kind of evening, then he sat on the opposite end of the sofa and picked up his book. Amy’s stare left the television and settled on him instead. He could feel it and it made him uncomfortable.
‘You’re obsessed with that book club.’
‘It’s a good book, you’d enjoy it.’ He kept his tone deliberately light-hearted.
‘Not the book, all of it. Is that where you were today? Sorting something out with Lois?’ She sounded spiteful and he hated her for it.
Even though Amy thought the book club was the worst thing he could have been doing, if he told her about the Christmas tree farm it would bring a whole new level of wrath which he couldn’t face.
‘I was at the wholesalers. I thought I told you that when you came down.’ Well, they did wholesale Christmas trees. He kept his eyes on his book.
‘Patsy didn’t say that when I’d asked her.’
‘She was so busy, she probably forgot.’
Was that going to be it?
‘I hardly see you, Oliver. You’re either working or you just go off without saying and leave me up here by myself.’
She needed to get a job, something to get her out of the flat. No wonder she was on at him all the time. She must be bored out of her mind but she’d had no luck finding anything. Committing a few hours to the coffee house or the cinema would be a start but that didn’t seem to be an option. He hadn’t gone as far as to say he thought it would be a good idea because she would think he was criticising her. It was better to say nothing.
The food arrived and when he sat at the table, Amy came over and sat down too.
‘Can I have a spring roll?’
‘Go ahead, I got them for you.’
‘Thanks, that’s really thoughtful.’ She sounded surprised. Was it that unusual for him to think of her?
‘Look, Ames, I’m sorry about today. I should have asked you if you wanted to come with me.’ Not a total lie, Lois had suggested it. ‘I forget it’s not just me anymore and I’m used to getting on with things by myself.’
‘I don’t want to come to the bloody wholesalers, Oliver.’ He heard the smile in her voice and looked up from his food. ‘I just want you to tell me you’re going. I want to be part of your life, all of it.’
It sounded slightly sinister. There was no need for them to keep tabs on each other to that extent. They never had before. So it was for some other reason. Maybe Amy was jealous of Lois.
‘There’s nothing weird going on. You know everything there is to know.’
‘I just want things to be how they were before.’
‘I’m not sure that can happen,’ Oliver said gently, reaching for her hand. ‘A lot’s happened to both of us since then. We can’t try and make things the same. We have to see if we can start a new life together and it might be different from the old one, but it might still be great.’
‘You don’t think it will be?’
‘I think it’s too soon to know, to be honest. We need to be brave enough to admit if it’s not working but brave enough to move on together and leave the past behind if that feels right.’
Amy looked thoughtfully at him but didn’t say anything. The fact was, it didn’t feel to him that things were going to work out between them and knowing how fragile Amy was and how much she wanted to pick up where they’d left off, being honest with her about how he felt seemed like the best thing to do.
‘I know it’s hard starting again. It feels a bit like we’re strangers but we have to try, Oliver. We have to.’
The desperation in her voice left him feeling uneasy.
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