Page 45 of Twilight at Croftwood Library
Dinner sounds great. Let me know when and where. L x
On Saturday evening, she cycled home with butterflies in her stomach. It was only Alex, she kept telling herself. If it was Oliver she was lucky enough to be going to dinner with maybe she would understand it. She pushed the thought out of her mind before she could think any more about how much she would like that.
Alex had texted to say he would meet her in The Friar Street Kitchen, a cool place in Worcester that did sharing platters and cocktails. Lois was pleased that it was a restauranty place rather than a pub. That was an improvement from Alex, verging on being out of character but she was happy to embrace it. Perhaps living the high life in London was starting to rub off on him.
It was cold and crisp and thankfully not raining, so once she’d changed out of her work clothes into a comfortable dress that nonetheless felt like she’d made an effort, Lois enjoyed the short walk over the bridge into town. Fairy lights were twinkling everywhere, making her feel Christmassy. Croftwood would be just as festive the following week, she thought, looking forward to the light switch-on which she had heard so much about.
Alex was waiting outside the restaurant, hands in his pockets and the collar of his coat turned up against the biting cold. He held her arms gently as he leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. It was a touching gesture that took Lois by surprise.
‘You look great,’ he said, smiling as he looked at her.
‘Thanks, so do you.’ He was wearing a suit underneath his smart coat. He would never normally go out in town dressed like that. All these tiny things were adding up and making Lois wonder whether something was afoot.
They sat at a table in the window that it turned out Alex had booked – also out of character. They made small talk about their working weeks then when the drinks arrived Alex made a toast.
‘To us, Lois.’
‘To us.’ It was an odd toast, drinking in celebration of the end of the life they’d shared but Lois was glad that Alex seemed to be more at peace with things than when they’d seen each other in London. She’d been worried that he was finding it hard to move on but tonight he seemed happy and together. It was good. A relief.
‘After you came to London, Lois, I started thinking about what had made me decide to take the job in London given that it meant leaving you behind.’
‘I think you just wanted a new start, from what you said the other day,’ she said helpfully, in a bid to keep Alex on topic.
‘In a way.’ He paused to sip his drink. ‘But I don’t think I made the right decision. I miss you.’
She stared at him. ‘You’re not moving back in, are you?’ It came out of her mouth before she’d had chance to phrase it more tactfully. There was no way she would let him move back in now, too much had happened. And more to the point, it wasn’t what she wanted anymore.
‘No, of course not,’ he said. ‘I want you to move to London with me. I never asked you properly before because I thought I wanted out of everything. Us, my life here, everything. But, when you came to see me the other day, it made me realise that I love you. I think that’s why I didn’t move my stuff out sooner because I wasn’t ready to leave the idea of us behind.’
‘But you said it was just that you were afraid to let go of everything here, not because of me.’ Lois began to wonder if she’d completely misinterpreted their conversation in London as well as the way things had been between them for so long. ‘I think you’re forgetting how things were, Alex. We hadn’t been happy for a long time. It was the right thing to do to break up.’
‘But since I’ve been away, I’ve realised that I don’t think that it was a problem with us, Lois. I think I just needed to be in a different place to see how things should be between us. In Worcester, I feel like I’m still a teenager, hanging out with the lads just the same as it’s always been. Since I moved to London, especially since we broke up and I stopped coming back every weekend, I’ve changed.’
‘But I don’t want to move to London, Alex.’ There was more to it than that and he deserved to hear the truth. There had been little enough of that in their relationship and Lois was determined for there to be no misunderstanding. ‘It’s hard for me to say this to you, but I’ve been happy since you left. It made me realise that we’d been stuck in a rut together and it wasn’t until you put an end to that that I’d even realised that’s what had happened and neither of us had noticed. We let ourselves down by compromising and we both deserve better.’ She looked him in the eye and gathered all the bravery she could muster. She had to tell him. ‘I don’t feel like we made a mistake by splitting up.’
He looked at her with a sorrowful expression. He didn’t say anything else. Lois was relieved that he’d taken in what she said and seemed to have accepted it.
‘I’m sorry, Alex.’
‘I’ll come to the house tomorrow and get my things.’
They ate their food in silence. There was nothing left to say. Lois felt bad for him, but she knew he would see she had made the right call for them both, eventually.
At the end of the meal, Alex wasted no time in requesting the bill. He wouldn’t let Lois pay for her share.
‘Let me get it, Lois. I should have done more of this when we were together.’
‘Alex…’
‘I’m sorry I let you down, Lo. I didn’t know when I had a good thing going and I think I’ll always regret letting you go.’
‘Alex…’
‘You okay getting home?’
‘Of course. I—’
‘Bye Lois.’ He kissed her on the cheek and walked away before she could say anything else.
