Page 32 of Twilight at Croftwood Library
Lois wandered into the children’s section of the library. It was well stocked with picture books for little ones as well as plenty of reading books for primary school children but the teenage section was sadly lacking with just two shelves of dedicated books. Lois could remember when she was that age and managed to read almost everything her local library, which was much the same size as Croftwood, had to offer. What was on their side now was the sheer volume of amazing books available for that age range, she just needed to source some and find space for them.
After work, Lois headed straight home. She was looking forward to the evening ahead because she’d invited Oliver around for dinner. He hadn’t been round to her house before and she was keen to get home, light some candles, light the fire and start the dinner before he arrived.
Deciding what to cook had been somewhat tricky. Aside from it being a while since Lois had made a proper meal – she was existing on salads and pasta – she wasn’t sure yet what Oliver liked. So far, they had only eaten one meal together at the pub so she knew he ate meat and didn’t mind garlic. In the end, she’d chosen a recipe that her mum always used for dinner parties; chicken breast stuffed with garlic Philadelphia cheese and wrapped in Parma ham. To save herself too much hassle, she bought some ready-made Parmenter potatoes to go with it and some green vegetables to steam.
Lois prepared the chicken, then went into the lounge to light the fire. It lit easily with some kindling which she’d cut from an errant hazel tree in the garden the previous autumn and bundled with some dried lavender. It smelled delicious.
As the doorbell rang, Lois hastily lit a couple of candles on the mantelpiece before answering it.
She opened the door and Oliver was standing there looking wretched. He leaned in to kiss her and she was bathed in the scent of his gorgeous woody aftershave but her heart sank when he made no move to come in.
‘Come in, it’s freezing!’ she said, trying to sound more upbeat than she felt. There was something wrong. She could feel the cold on him as he squeezed past her into the hall where he stayed, making no move to follow her into the kitchen. ‘What is it?’
‘I can’t stay.’
‘Okay…’ She paused, letting him know that she was waiting for an explanation.
‘Amy came to see me after work today. She wants us to try again.’
Lois wasn’t sure what exactly had changed. Amy had already told Oliver she wanted them to see more of each other.
‘And you said?’
‘I said I would. I feel I owe her that,’ he said. ‘She thinks that we called things off without really knowing why we’d grown apart and now that we do, and she’s feeling better, we can pick up where we left off.’
‘And you’re going along with that?’
He nodded sadly.
‘I don’t get what’s changed.’ Lois was struggling to stay calm. ‘Are you suddenly in love with her again?’
‘No, not really but I feel like I have to give it a chance. For her.’
‘But you’d moved on, you said it yourself. She just needs time to come to terms with that. Is it the right thing to be trying to get back something that can probably never be the same as it was before?’
‘Try to understand.’ He was pleading with her. ‘I can’t let her down again. I can’t be the reason she gets depressed again. I’m willing to see what happens. I’m so sorry, Lois. I didn’t see this coming and I wish things were different. I should never have started anything between us until I’d sorted out my life properly.’
She’d known things weren’t straightforward. He’d told her, eventually, so she should have seen this coming too. But she was sad. Sad for losing someone who had become her friend as well as sad at losing the possibility of what might have been.
‘We knew it wasn’t the best timing for either of us.’ She wondered why she was blurting out a cliché to make him feel better, then quickly realised she was trying to make herself feel better.
‘That shouldn’t matter when something’s right, Lois.’
‘Well, now you’re just making it worse.’ She attempted a smile.
‘Can we still be friends?’
That would be the hardest thing in the world. ‘Of course we can.’
Oliver took her in his arms and hugged her while she forced herself not to start sobbing into his chest while she drank in the feeling of being held by him. It was probably the last time, after all.
‘I wish things were different. Amy’s been through so much…’
‘It’s the right thing to do,’ she said. She had to tell him that, let him leave her with a clear conscience. After all, they had agreed to take it slowly precisely because things were complicated for him. She hadn’t thought it might end things between them though.
She pulled away from him, wiping her sleeve across her face.
‘Thanks, Lois. I’m sorry I can’t stay but Amy wants to move her stuff in tonight.’
