Page 63 of The Island in Bramble Bay
‘I’m fine thanks. Did I wake you up?’
‘No, I was already awake. Just been watching the news.’
‘Are you alone?’ Who would she think was with him?
‘Yeah, of course.’ Then it hit him. ‘Oh. She sent you that photo?’ His heart dropped into his stomach.
‘What’s going on Charlie? I want you to be honest with me. If you’re involved with her again, well… I don’t know what to think.’
‘I’m so sorry, Maggie.’ All he seemed to do was say sorry to her lately. What had happened? ‘There is nothing between me and Jessica, believe me. She showed me the photo and it looked bad, I didn’t know how to explain it. As far as I knew she’d never had any opportunity to take a photo of me like that, at least not since I got back to the States. But I know now and I swear it’s nothing to worry about and I guess I was hoping she wasn’t going to show it to you.’
‘I can’t believe you still let her into your life after what happened. All she’s tried to do is make things bad for you, for us, and you never stand up to her.’
Maggie was absolutely right but he was shocked to hear her spell it out to him. It wasn’t like her.
‘You’re right and the last time I saw her I told her that was it. For good this time.’
Maggie’s expression told him that she didn’t believe him. And who could blame her? He had made some terrible decisions lately, not only for himself but for their relationship.
‘I can’t do this anymore, Charlie. It’s too hard to be waiting for you, wanting to be with you and not knowing if you feel the same way. All this business with Jessica as well… I can’t take her being part of your life, I’m sorry.’
‘Maggie, you have nothing to apologise for at all. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to realise what she was doing. I should have protected you from her… protected both of us,’ he said quietly.
‘I think we’ve missed our chance, Charlie.’
Her face told him that she was upset, but her tone told him she was decided.
‘Maggie…’
‘Charlie. There are so many things that have gone wrong for us since we went to America. And since you’ve been away, you’ve taken no interest in what’s happening here. This was your life, Charlie and now you’re not interested in it at all.’
‘That’s not true, Maggie,’ he said, while knowing that what she said was true. But only because he’d had to mentally distance himself from Bramble Island to keep his mind on the job. And to stop his heart aching for Maggie quite so much. ‘It makes it so much harder to think too much about home, that’s all. I have to keep it separate, it’s not because I don’t care. I know it’s been hard but I want to be with you more than anything.’
But as he said it, he heard how it would sound to Maggie because if that was true, he would be there right now.
59
MAGGIE LOOKED AT the computer screen trying to see in Charlie’s eyes whether he meant what he was saying. She wanted more than anything for him to put the phone down and come home. He looked terrible. She had seen on the news that the hack problem with High 5 had been solved but she didn’t think for a minute that would mean Charlie was coming back.
‘I’m almost done, Maggie. I’ll be back real soon and—’
‘No Charlie. It’s over. We’ve been apart longer than we were ever together and it’s too hard. If it’s meant to be, well, maybe one day things will be different.’
‘Maggie, no. look, I’m going to fly back tonight—’
‘Don’t fly back for me, Charlie, not unless you’re done. I want you to be ready to come back because if you come back for me before you’re ready, you’ll never feel like you got it out of your system. That’s what you need to do.’
It was the hardest thing she’d ever had to say and was completely at odds with how she actually felt. But she knew that she deserved more than this. She had finally managed to get her career back on an even keel and felt back in control of her life for the first time in a couple of years. Seeing Nick and telling him exactly how she’d felt had been empowering and she couldn’t risk all of the gains she had made for someone who was too self-involved to notice her triumphs. It felt like déjà vu; Ben had never been her cheerleader either. She was not going to let history repeat itself. There was too much at stake.
Charlie put his head in his hands and when he looked at her again, he had tears in his eyes.
‘You mean everything to me, Maggie. Coming back here was harder than I thought. All this stuff with Jessica has made me feel like I did three years ago and the only thing keeping me from being right back there is the thought of you being there when I get back. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.’
‘I love that you’ve found yourself again after so long but that was you, not me. You were ready to get back out there and that’s great. I’m glad I was there for you and maybe helped you to make the final leap but I can’t be here just waiting for you.’ She saw with total clarity what had been happening. ‘I’ve let relationships dictate my life for too long. I came to Bramble Island for a fresh start, to make my mark and do something I could be proud of. I love you, Charlie but I came here for me and I have to put myself first.’
She wished with all her heart that Charlie would say something that would make everything okay. She wanted him to be her protector, champion, partner in everything.
‘That’s a good decision, Maggie. It’s right for you to put yourself first. That’s what I did… good decision.’ He wiped his eyes and smiled at her. Too brightly, defeat just below the surface. ‘Okay then, I guess this is it. I guess I’ll catch up with you sometime when I get back.’
