Page 36 of To Save a Vampire
A weighted feeling presses into me as I realize it’s true. I can’t keep him. Just like with everything else in my life, he’ll have to leave.
Why did I let him kiss me?
It wasn’t the same as when Ayden kissed me. I thought the simple, relaxed feeling I felt with Ayden was normal, but, after experiencing the opposite of relaxed last night, I know there’s more than just friendship between Asher and myself. Why did I even allow myself to become close to him?
“Have you always loved my mother?” I blurt out, attempting to distract the building anxiety in my chest.
“Always,” he says without hesitation or thought.
I try to sift through the emotional mess that swarms my mind and body.
“How did you know?”
Ky stops and thinks for a moment, his eyes shining under the sun like he’s lost in a memory. A smile threatens to form on his lips. He rests his arm on my shoulders, and I lean into him as I listen.
“I knew the moment I had to walk away from her. It tore me apart leaving her in that camp when I entered the military. The feelings only grew when I returned and realized nothing would ever change for us. Not life and not love. But she makes this world we have to live in so much brighter just by being here. There’s a spark in me that she put there.”
He stops walking and looks at me as his words hammer into my chest. “Don’t ever ignore that spark, Fallon. If it’s there, hold on to it. Some people go their whole lives stumbling alone through the darkness.”
He smirks at me, knowing I’m processing his advice. He shakes his hand over my hair like he did when I was a kid.
What he said wasn’t at all what I expected. It’s like he loves my mother more than the friendship they’ve always kept with each other. Do I feel that way with Asher? My heart thrums in my chest. Is this what a spark feels like?
I think about confusing sparks and darkness as we continue to walk in silence. After another mile, we stop for a short break again. My mind is a mess and not even a five-minute break will help clear it. I walk away from Ky and try to act like my life isn’t teetering on the edge of a cliff on a windy day.
Sunlight filters in through the dry leaves clinging to the branches above. Ky takes a spot on a boulder, his metal prosthetic laying at his side while he massages his limb just below his knee. Pain is etched across the strong angles of his face, but he doesn’t say a word.
My mother leans her head against his shoulder, her light skin to his dark. They’re opposites in every way and complement each other perfectly. Worry marks her face as she watches him. Her worry is consuming her the way Ky’s unspoken hurt is consuming him.
We’re close to our destination. No one has actually said this, but I can feel it. We’ve stopped running as much, and we’ve taken more breaks over the last two days.
My mother leaves Ky’s side and slowly walks toward me, leaves crunching under her boots. Asher, who stands at my side, seems to take note of the closeness my mother has created as she leans against a tree next to me. Asher looks from me to her. He walks a few yards and turn away from us. Near enough to hear us with his heightened senses, but far enough away to give the illusion of privacy.
“I need to be honest with you.” She pauses, not looking at me, but touching my arm gently. “I know I’ve gone about all of this in a strange way. I just wanted you to have an open mind. To not feel pressured into your future.”
Myfuture? She’s now looking intently at me, searching my eyes for acceptance and kindness for what she’s about to confess.
“What are you saying, Mom?” I ask in a whisper.
Ky tilts his head up subtly, watching us. Asher hasn’t moved from within the forest. Ripper gives a low growl from where he’s curled up at my feet. Everyone takes notice and stands on edge for what she’s about to say.
“Asher’s twin brother was Micah,” she says slowly, searching my eyes. “I helped Asher escape in hopes to forge your union papers and give you the chance at a real future. A choice of your own.”
Her words drill into me all at once, and the air leaves my lungs.
“Micah was assigned to work on a farm and you were assigned to be a veterinarian. It would be simple for the two of you to live a happy and secluded life alone. I didn’t tell you the plan because I didn’t want to force a union on you the way our government does everyone else. I wanted you to have the choice to like Asher. If you two hated each other, we would still take him home to his family. But if you liked him, if you two formed a bond together, then there are possibilities for you both.”
Ky begins humming a low melody as if he’s oblivious to us. Ripper continues with his low growl; the dog’s throaty vibrating noise is filling my mind as my mother’s information streams in like a flood.
Asher was willing to falsify his identity to help me?
“It wouldn’t be an easy life, but it’d be more of a life than the camp or compound will ever be for either of you. It could be a happy life. A hopeful life,” she says, still trying to trigger a response.
Hope. It’s the one thing that stands out among all her words. Asher and I could build a life together out of hope. Hope could hold us together against the rules and the laws of our lives, but it would be a weak foundation. A teetering, balancing act. We would have to be strong together to make it work. But we are already strong together.
Asher makes me a less weak person. A better person.
His first words come swinging back to me.Be sure.Be sure of my choices. Be sure of us. Be sure of myself.
