Page 67 of Jace
I burst out a laugh. “Oh, really? I thought the whole reason you came over here is to find out exactly what gay dudes do in dark hallways in gay clubs.”
“I did,” he counters. “Wasn't that spectacular.”
I grasp at my heart with my free hand and give him a mock gasp. “Oh, I'm sorry to disappoint you, my lord. I will make sure the next time will be to your utmost satisfaction.”
“Yeah, don't do that,” he stares at me, a lopsided smirk on those addictive lips. “I think if you try even harder I would spontaneously combust.”
“That good, huh?” I eye his mouth, really hating it right now that Lamar interrupted us.
“That good,” he agrees, showing less hesitation than me and leaning forward to capture my mouth again, his free hand now on my cheek.
It's softer this time, less urgent, but no less heady. He presses his lips one, two, three times against mine, and just when I want to open up and say fuck you, dick, just endure the damn pain, he lets go, pressing his forehead against mine again.
“Fuck, he whispers for the gazillionth time this night. “Should we go home? I think we should go home. I really wanna go home.”
“Don't get any ideas,” I grunt, adjusting my aching cock. “Still hurts.”
“Aww, want me to kiss it and make it better?”
I widen my eyes, and he actually looks kind of shocked at his own lame joke.
“I mean,” he starts, cheeks turning red, “I wouldn't– I just–”
I shut him up by giving him a peck on the lips this time, which is my new favorite thing to do. “I'm kidding. Let's leave the dick sucking for some other time, yeah? Let's go home.”
“You’d want that?”
“Do I want what? To go home with you?” I eye him, from the top of his thick dark hair to thosethighs, which seriously test the span width of the gray slacks he’s rockin’. “Fuck yes. Or did you mean the dick sucking part? Because I would love a taste,” I tease in my usual fashion, on which his eyes flare in answer, his fingers grabbing mine tighter.
I bite my lip at that, which makes his eyes drop immediately. There isn’t any doubt whatsoever there as far as I can tell, only curiosity, and so muchwantthat it makes my breath hitch.
“You're really sure about this? About us?” I croak again, hating this insecurity that's plaguing me.
He meets my eyes again, determination filling them. “I am. I, shit… How do I say this…” He lifts his hand to probably fiddle with his hat, but finds nothing but air, making him look around in confusion. Chuckling at how stupidly adorable I find that, I grab the hat, which is behind him, and pop it on his head again.
“There, that’s better.”
He smiles at that, clenching my fingers again. “It is. But I think we should go home and talk?” He cringes at the word as well. “Ithink we kinda have to… You know, to figure out what thisthingis.” He gestures between us.
“Oh, we’re athingnow are we?”
Now he's the one looking insecure. “I mean…” Cue hat fiddle. “I mean I would want to see if we can be. A thing, that is. If you want to.”
The moths before, it's a swarm of butterflies now, hoping so hard that this thing could happen. But he's right; we should talk first. No matter how much I want to jump him, he's new at this. He doesn't know what he wants, he doesn't even know if he can be with a guy to begin with.
And I don’t even know if I can be withanyone,really.
But I do want to try. Really badly.
So I try to be damn considerate for once, instead of going with my usual MO, which would be fucking his brains out the first chance I get. I kiss him again, doing my best not to linger too long, before I get up and hold out my hand.
“Come on. Let's go to your place and talk. And then we can figure out if we can be that thing.”
He gives me a brilliant smile as he grabs my hand and hoists himself up, but when he stands, he drops his gaze, plucking at that damn hat again. “But can we, you know, go to your place?” Meeting my eyes again, he cringes. “The guys… I don't mean– I'm not… I just don't wanna–”
And if that doesn't make me melt in sympathy. I mean, I get it. I'm out, I'm proud. I am who I am, and I own it, but that doesn't mean that I don't remember how terrified it was to be stuck in that damn closet.
And how fucked up society still is over it.
