Page 63 of Jace
He’s here. He’s actually here in front of me, smirking at me like nothing the fuck is wrong, all sweaty from his performance. He's checking me out with that familiar glint in his eyes, which I now, after all these months, recognize it exactly for what it is; Heat. Want. Lust.
And I’m angry because, fuck him, I also realize that hehurtme. He fucking hurt me by pretending that I didn't have any life-altering realization that night, by ignoring my calls, which might've been pleas for help or something lame like that, to help me figure this shit out.
He hurt me worse than Kaylee did when she broke up with me. And isn't that just plain stupid?
“Where the fuck have you been at?” I grit out, more harshly than I intended.
He balks at that, eyes widening, taking a step back. He's alone in here, which I'm momentarily grateful for, probably Missy's doing.
“I’m sorry,” he answers. “I called in sick?”
I huff indignantly, nodding to the door leading back to the stage. “Yeah, you looked very sick all right. Don't bullshit me, Jace. Sick or not, you could've answered my calls or texts.”
“I'm sorry,” he says again, leaning against the wall, rubbing his face. “I just didn't know– I'm sorry that you and Kaylee broke up because of me, okay? I just found out today. If I knew beforehand, I would have never gone with–”
“That's not on you,” I interrupt him. “We were fully aware of what we were doing when we invited you into our bed.” I cock my head. “But if you just found out today, then why the hell were you avoiding me the rest of the week?”
He cringes at that, and fuck if that only makes me frown more.
“Well?” I take a step forward, caging him in. “Because for a whole damn week now, I've been trying to figure out what thefuck I did wrong. I thought we were friends...” My voice almost cracks at that last part, and I avert my gaze, swallowing the pain away.
“Shit, Tyler. I don't know, okay? I just... I didn't mean to hurt you.”
“Then why did you? What did I do that was so awful that you thought you should avoid me? Don’t you want to be friends anymore?”
He shakes his head at that, refusing to answer.
“Well? It was just a kiss, right? Just some fun? Like you said before you agreed to this?”
“It wasn’t– I know it wasn’t–”
“I promised that it wouldn't mess up our friendship. Why don't you give me the same courtesy? My girlfriend dumped me right after, and I was confused as hell about what went on, and I...”
“Oh fuck, I'm sorry...” he says again, and I'm tired of his fucking apologies. I want an explanation, not an excuse.
“Fuck you, Jace. What the hell do you want?” I demand, voice rising, slamming my hands on the wall on either side of his head.
He grabs my wrists at that, and I step forward, caging him further in that damn hallway. His hands feel sorighton my skin that I barely keep in a very unmanly whimper. His eyes flick to my mouth, and I doknowwhat he wants, but I need him totellme already.
“What do you want, Jace,” I ask again, now softer, the fight leaving me. I don’t want to fight him; I want to figure out what this thing is, but I can’t if he won’t talk to me. “Because I know what I want, and I really hope that it’s the same thing.”
“Don’t say that,” he finally whispers, eyes still on my mouth, fingers clenching on my wrists. “Don’t say stuff like that.”
“Why not? That I want you? Because I do, I really do. And I don’t know what the hell it all means, or why my dick took solong to realize that I’m not so straight as I thought, but I know for damn sure that I want you; that’s all I know right now. I can’t think straight.”
“Pun intended?”
“Pun very intended,” I growl, letting my forehead fall against his, my heart going crazy in my chest. Fuck, I feel like I’ve played an entire game, adrenaline spiking, synapses going wild.
He’s breathing heavily now, eyes closed, like he can’t bear to look at me for some stupid reason.
“I’m not… Fuck, I didn’t want to hurt you,” he supplies softly. “I’m sorry that you had to figure this shit out on your own.”
I groan again, letting my head fall on his shoulder. He's too fucking frustrating. “Then why, Jace? Whydidyou ignore me? Help me understand.”
“Because you weren’t supposed to look at me like that,”he finally cracks, grabbing my shirt now, pulling me closer towards him, making me lift my head.
“Like what?” I ask, which makes him avert his gaze again. Hell to the no. I grab his face, making him look at me, holding his throat. “Likewhat,Jace?”
