Page 116 of Jace
“This is just stupid,” Missy exclaims while eyeing the baby fowls in question, which are nestled upon my chest as I lounge on our usual bench, my booted feet propped on the table.
Gus gave me the stink-eye for that, but even he’s smitten with the ducklings and let me be when he saw them sleeping soundly.
“I don’t get why those stupid things decided that they like you more thanme.”
I smirk at her. “I don’t know. Maybe I have a better personality? Don’t animals sense it when one's soul is as black as the fiery depths of hell?”
She nearly growls, eyes blazing, and I wave a hand at her, saying, “My point exactly.”
“Fine,keep the bastards. They don’t mean anything to me.”
“Shh, she doesn’t mean that, right sweeties?” I hug the ducks close and give them both a kiss on their feathery heads. “Don’t listen to pissy Missy. She’s just upset she’s not gettin’ any tonight.” I eye my fuming friend over the top of Patrice’s and Patrick’s heads.
“You're not getting any either, moron,” she states with a wave at the big television screen mounted above the bar. “That’s your guy up there as well.”
It is. It’s national championship time. Or finals time? Grand finale? I have no clue what it's called; I’m still learning everything about football. However, I do know that this is a big thing, and Ty’s been excited about it for two weeks straight now, ever since they won the semi-finals on New Year’s Day. I still don’t get why there were games on a national holiday, who comes up with that shit?
Not that I didn't have a fantastic New Year’s Eve. I think my heart nearly exploded when Ty pressed his forehead to mine when the countdown began. When he gave me that shy smile that I love so much as he framed my face… When he kissed me in front of all his friends as the clock struck midnight, making me float the fuck away.
I had to hold onto his wrists to keep myself tethered, to keep myself sane, because fuck… I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expectinghim.
I was never expecting to findlovehere. Because that’s what this all-encompassing, overwhelmingcravingis, right? Love.
I’ve never loved before. And I’ve neverbeenloved before. So I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that I want to see him every damn day. Every damn minute, if it’s up to me. Sleeping together is the best fucking thing ever, and I don’t even mean sex, no. I mean actuallysleeping.Being wrapped up by him the whole night and then waking up to have those dimples popping at me? Yeah, maybethat’sthe best thing ever.
I know that Missy loves me in her own way, but it’s a brotherly affection, and I reciprocate by loving her like the twisted sister she is. It has never been anything more than that.
Not like my heart beats for Tyler like the most beautiful melody, weaving a song in my soul everytime I see him, touch him,feelhim. Each note banging like a drum in my chest for him is something I never thought I’d experience.
So I suppose that’s love.
And it’s beautiful.
But it’s scary as fuck as well. Because what if he doesn’t feel the same? What if it turns out he’s like the others before him? Who only used me for my name and my face? I know rationally that that’s not true. That he’s just as crazy about me as I’m about him. That he’s not shallow like those stupid folks who used me. He’s crazy aboutme.About who I am to my core. Yeah, Iknowthat.
But my mind just sometimes won’t shut off.
I guess that’s part of being in love as well, the never-ending thoughts and doubts.
And what if he reallyisas in this as me, and he’ll leave me anyway when he enters the draft? I don’t really know which would be worse.
But no, no, no, not going to think about that. I know that kinda thinking is stupid and unnecessary. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that. And tonight, I'm cheering for him as any loving and supportive boyfriend would. And even though I couldn't travel with him, he still has my full support.
I’m in my King jersey, playing the role of his pretty and personal jersey chaser, a title I wear with pride. The band and I chose to watch the game at Yetties instead of the stadium, allowing us to continue working on our songs after the game.
It's also easier to bring the ducks here than to the stadium; we couldn't leave them alone for a couple of hours. Well, I could, but Missy insisted on bringing them. Yeah, shereallyhates them.
At least the new song is coming together quite great now that I’ve found my muse. My friends joke about it, thanking Tyler every time I come up with more material. Missy even laughed as she threw a box of condoms on my bed the other day, suggesting we 'keep doing whatever it is you’re doing to make music like that.'
So, Ty and I do just that—search for inspiration. We ‘search’ at his place, at mine, whenever he has the time amid his busy training schedule.
We searchedgoodand found a lot of inspiration. Enough to potentially create an album. Not that the band has a label, but at least the music is fucking fantastic.
Yes, we really made the most of the time during these last two weeks of winter break. Unfortunately, in a couple of days, the new semester starts, and I have to focus on boring lectures again.
“You know that the ducks like him better because the ducklings have imprinted on Jace, right?” Asher interrupts my thoughts as I was staring at the screen, petting the ducks aimlessly.
“They did what?” Missy asks our drummer, who’s seated next to me in the corner, where nobody can creep up on him. “What’s imprinting?”
