Page 113 of Jace
I nod. “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend,” I confess, which makes him smile even broader.
“Congratulations then, you just came out to a fellow team member.”
“What?” I raise my brows. “You already know I’m gay.”
“No, no I didn’t.” He pats my arm in comfort. “Like I said; I know you guys were fooling around, but you could be bi, demi…There are more ways to identify. Hell, it can be a one time thing as well.”
“It isn’t,” I say automatically. “But yeah, it’s mostly Jace…” I think about my Henry Cavill binge, about how I seem to notice men more lately ever since this sort of veil has been lifted, how when I now think about Kaylee and our past relationship, it just seems and feelswrong. I thought about this a lot, I joked with Jace about being demi or Jacesexual, but I don’t believe that that is what I am. It doesn’t fit. Gay however… I eye Tuck up and down just because I can. “Yup, definitely gay.”
He snorts but lifts his empty cup. “Cheers to being gay then. Welcome to the club.”
I tap my drink to his and a chuckle escapes me. “You know, this might be the first time I said that I’m gay out loud.” Which is true. Because if I recall correctly, I didn’t tell my parents outright that I’m gay, or Lamar, or even Jace. I just told them I liked him.
“That’s something right?”
Yeah… I guess that indeed is something.
“And?” he presses.
“And what?
“Did the world stop spinning? Did the Great British Bake Off stop airing? Did Martha Stewart die?” He actually checks his phone at that. “Nope. World is still okay it seems. Or as okay as it can be I suppose…”
I stifle a laugh. “Martha Stewart? Bake Off? Really?”
“Hey, I like baking, okay? Didn’t hear your ass complaining when you munched down that entire batch of brownies last weekend.
“Right on, they were great,” I say, holding out my fist. We pound one out and he slaps me on the shoulder after.
“So,” he starts.
“So,” I say.
“How are you feeling?”
“You a shrink now, man?” I huff an awkward laugh, rubbing my hair, nearly making the crown fall off.
“Come on, dude. I know it’s scary. Don’t have to pretend.”
I nod at that, gazing at Jace again.
“But it's the first step, right?”
“It is,” I say, now leaning with one foot against the wall, arms crossed. “What about a second step?” I ask quietly, heart pounding.
“You mean coming out to your friends? You are aware everybody in our house already knows, right? Or do you mean the team? Public? Parents? All of the above?”
I shrug. “My family already knows. They’re fine with it like expected. My brothers and I had the we-love-you-no-matter-what-talk when we were teens.” Or it was mostly my mom complaining that we could do whomever, as long as we provided her grandkids, ‘because there are always options to adopt or surrogate,’ ending her tirade by throwing us a box of condoms each accompanied with rainbow colored flyers.
J made it his mission to walk around in very tight, very bright clothes for two solid months after that. Including nail polish, lip gloss, and everything. Just to mess with my mom.
She still complains about it, because he used up her favorite colors.
Fun times.
“I’m aware the house already knows,” I confirm after a while, eying Tuck out of the corner of my eye, who’s now fiddling with his plastic sword. “I mean Lamar knows, and yes, I know you guys are not as stupid as you all look.”
Tuck snickers at that. “Yeah, we’re very much aware of what that rhythmic bonking sound is that’s coming from your room at night.”
