Page 21 of Rewrite the Stars
He looks offended now but I’m not sorry. I didn’t question or judge his type of woman when he just told me he’d found a kindred spirit so why should I let him do the same to me?
‘What I mean is, I hope you’ve met someone who matches your intelligence,’ he quickly covers up. ‘Someone good enough for you, who will be good to you, someone who isn’t like—’
‘Someone who isn’t like Tom Farley, you mean?’ I interrupt him and he actually jumps.
‘What?’
‘Is that what you’re getting at?’ I ask him, still nipped by the very idea of me falling for Mr Sensible. ‘You’d love me to be with anyone on this earth as long as it isn’t a womanizing rock wannabe like Tom Farley who maybeismy type after all?!’
‘Where is this coming from?’ he asks me, as if someone has just punched him in the stomach. ‘Why are you talking about him?’
This is not going as I’d rehearsed it at all, but I can’t hold back. I’m losing it. I’ve lost my way, and everything goes into some strange sort of slow motion as the name Tom Farley seems to catch the back of my brother’s throat.
His mouth twists a little and he grabs his beer and takes a long, thirst-filled drink then slams it down just a bit too hard for my liking. Here we go …
‘What on earth do you have against him?’ I ask him, wanting to know once and for all the truth behind the stupid row that changed their whole future. That changedmyfuture perhaps, too.
‘Why the hell are you bringinghimup all of a sudden?’ Matthew asks me. He looks ashen now as opposed to the bright happy chappy I just witnessed. ‘We weren’t eventalkingabout Tom Farley! YouknowI’ve a history with him that I can’t discuss. My doctor told me never to indulge in conversation with him or about him. Do you know why?’
‘No?’ I say, afraid now of what is to come.
‘You really have no idea?’ he says to me, looking at me now as if I’m telling lies. I shake my head.
‘I don’t, Matthew,’ I tell him. ‘I mean, I know that he asked for my number and you turned on him and—’
Matthew’s voice is shaking when he responds. I really seem to have hit a nerve more than I ever could have expected to.
‘Are youtryingto upset me?’ he asks, his face crumpling now. ‘Is that what you came here for? Are you bringing him up just to test me or tease me? Why are you talking about Tom Farley, Charlotte? I’ve left all that behind. I’m trying to move on!’
I realize that I’m shaking now too as he raises his voice. It’s not like him. It’s so not like him and it’s frightening me. He downs the remainder of his pint, leaving me dizzy with where I’m going now with this conversation, and calls for a vodka and Coke from Angela who looks like she’d rather be anywhere than near us right now. She pours him a drink and sets me up with another gin and tonic and I feel like I’m going to need it.
‘Look, I just need to be honest with you. I met him a few days ago, OK?’ I say to Matthew.
I can’t stop now. I have to finish what I came here to tell him.
‘I just bumped into him on a night out really unexpectedly and we spent some time together catching up. He is so, so sorry for whatever happened between the two of you, and the whole breaking up of the band that meant so much to you all, but we’ve all moved on like you said, Matthew. Can’t you forgive him? It’s not good for you to hold onto so much anger.’
Matthew drums his fingers on the bar. He shakes his head really slowly.
‘It’s you and him again, isn’t it?’ he says to me, closing his eyes in disbelief. ‘I don’t believe this! That’s what you came here to tell me, isn’t it?Isn’t it?’
I’m afraid to go any further now. I want to change my mind and tell him no, of course it isn’t, but then I remember Tom and his kindness, his way of knowing me, of how he makes me feel, of how we were pushed apart when we were meant to be together, of the second chance we have and of how I drove all this way to make sure that nothing and no one would ever come between us again.
‘We want to give it a try,’ I whisper to Matthew. ‘Is it really that bad for you if we do?’
I reach out to touch him, but he pushes my hand away.
‘Charlotte, please!’ he says defiantly, and then downs his vodka and Coke in two gulps.
‘Are you denying me being with the one person I want to be with over a stupid band?’ I ask him. ‘Are you really going to hold onto this forever? Why don’t you want me to be with him?’
He inhales and I fear what is coming next. There is more to this story, I just know it.
‘He will only ever be trouble, Charlotte! You’re making a big mistake, believe me, but hey, maybe I’m wrong? Maybe you twowilllive happily ever after,’ he spits at me and gets up from the stool. ‘But I very much doubt it.’
He walks away, leaving me puce-faced in front of Angela who is finding it hard not to look in our direction.
And at that he is gone.
