Page 20 of Rewrite the Stars
He laughs at his own joke and Angela pretends to be offended.
‘The original and the best,’ I say to them both and soon we are clinking our glasses together in true Christmas spirit. ‘So, what is it you want to tell me? It’s good news, I take it?’
Matthew sits up straight on the stool. ‘I thought, well it just came to me yesterday before I rang you …’
His appearance may be changing each time I see him but somewhere in there is still my big brother, still the one we all looked up to.
‘I was thinking,’ he continues. ‘Wouldn’t it be a great idea if we were to take Mam and Dad on a summer holiday next year, just the five of us? Well, Kevin too, I suppose, as he’s family now,’ says Matthew. ‘It’s their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary this year and I think after all the crap we’ve been through over the past while, it might be something to look forward to? As a family?’
I almost choke on my drink in delight. ‘I love it!’ I tell him.
‘You really think so?’
He’s showing so much hope for the first time in ages. He’s making plans. He’s excited about something once and for all. I lean across and hug him.
‘That’s the best idea ever!’ I say to him, and I really mean it. ‘Let’s get onto Emily and Kevin and we’ll surprise Mam and Dad with all the detail on Christmas Day. Is that what you’re thinking?’
‘Exactly,’ he agrees. ‘You know, Charlotte, I remember when I was just a nipper how Mam used to stand at the kitchen sink and say that if she ever came into money, she’d love to take us all to see the pyramids in Egypt. Now I know it will take a lot of money, but if we booked it for, say, August, it would give us all eight months to save the fare and some spending money. Does that sound OK?’
He has thought it all through and it’s breaking my heart in two.
‘That sounds absolutely spot on, Matthew! Oh, look at you! You’re looking so much brighter,’ I tell him. ‘How are you feeling? Are you coping any better these days? You definitely look like you are.’
He stares at his pint for a second and then breaks into a smile.
‘Well, the truth is I’m feeling stronger, yes. I’ve met someone, Charlotte,’ he reveals to me, circling his finger on the top of the glass, and his face instantly brightens. ‘Would you believe that I’ve managed to find another music type, just like me, who was visiting relatives here in the back of beyond? We started as friends, and it’s still early days, but it’s given me a whole new lease of life. We’re thinking of starting up a folk club here in the pub once a month. Don’t laugh, I know I’m a rocker at heart, but I’m excited. At long last I’m excited about something.’
I lift my drink and clink my glass against his with tears in my eyes.
‘Well, blow me down, big brother!’ I say to him. ‘That’s the best news in the world! Does she sing or what? Tell me more about her. This is just fantastic! Do Mam and Dad know yet?’
He looks away shyly. I’ve often imagined Matthew’s wedding day, him making a heartfelt speech, maybe singing to his bride at some part of the ceremony and my father speaking of his son and new wife, saying how much he is looking forward to welcoming her into the family. If this is really happening for him at last, I’m over the moon.
‘I told them last night,’ he whispers. ‘I wanted to tell you first, but in person, so I just had to tell them over dinner last night.’
I’m taken aback at that. ‘You wanted to tell me first? Why?’
‘I suppose you’ve always been the one I’ve felt closest to,’ he says. ‘The one I trusted the most. I know I may have pissed you off sometimes by looking out for you a little too much, but you’ve always been special to me, Charlotte.’
Ah … I feel my opportunity arise.
‘Sometimes a little bit too much,’ I say with a light laugh. I remember I’ve the car outside and decide to leave it there and walk the mile or so to our parents’ house so I can have another drink. That’s the effect Loughisland has on me. ‘Can I get another G and T please, Angela?’
Angela looks flustered as a new couple enter the bar and I can see the shop has a few customers too. Matthew really should be working and I’m relieved when he offers to get the drinks while she attends the adjoining shop. When he sits back down, I fear the moment to tell him about Tom may have passed.
‘So, before I get into all the gory detail about my love life, what about you, little sis?’ he asks me when we get back to our conversation. ‘I know you’re busy being teacher of the year but is there anyone special in your life right now?’
Yes! It’s all happening so organically so I decide to grasp the opportunity. I can quiz him further on his mysterious new lover in a while, but this is my big moment to tell him about Tom.
I take a deep breath. I’ve practised this the whole way from Dublin to Loughisland and now it’s time for the big reveal.
‘I’ve met someone too, yes,’ I tell him softly. ‘And, just like you, it’s early days, but I’m feeling it, you know? I think when you know, you know.’
He brightens instantly. ‘That’s so true, sis. So, who is he? A work colleague, I bet! I always thought you’d end up surprising us all by falling for Mr Sensible who teaches Year Fives and wears corduroy trousers and—’
Oh no, no, no. I am so not going down this road for a second.
‘You mean youhopedI would,’ I interrupt him, unable to disguise the jag in my voice. ‘Oh Matthew, I’ve no interest in Mr Sensible with corduroy whatever, you must know that? I could never go there, in fact I’d run in the opposite direction from anyone remotely beige. Please cut me some slack for goodness’ sake.’
