Page 74 of A Miracle on Hope Street
My heart, most of all, is full of hope, and at long last I understand the meaning of love. And it feels so good.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Six Days after Christmas, New Year’s Eve
I sit at the end of Margo Taylor’s desk, waiting with bated breath for her to finish reading my finished piece in the New Year’s edition ofTodaynewspaper’s weekly magazine.
She scratches the side of her eye, she purses her lips, she squints, she nods, she smiles and then she pushes her chair back from her desk, gets up, pours two coffees and brings one to me.
‘So, do you like it then?’
Margo shakes her head as she takes a seat again.
‘I don’tlikeit, Ruth,’ she says to me. ‘I absolutely love it! This is going to get ahugeresponse, I just know it will. I’d love to see more of this from you, I really would. You really know how to tug at the heartstrings, young lady, but aside from the work you can produce and how damn lucky we are to have you here on the paper, I’m totally thrilled for you in so many ways. It sounds like you’ve been a busy bee this Christmas in more ways than one. I’m so pleased to see you standing up straight and smiling and glowing just like you always should. It suits you.’
‘Thanks, Margo,’ is about all I can muster up right now. She pushes the newspaper across to me.
‘Take a moment and read it for yourself now with fresh eyes,’ she says to me. ‘You should be very proud of yourself, Ruth Ryans. You’ve done something unique, so selfless and so rewarding and it shows in every word you’ve written.’
I don’t really want to read back over my work as I could almost recite the whole piece word for word, it took me so long to finally get it right, but I’m not going to argue with Margo Taylor, am I? So I do what I’m told. I read.
What is Christmas to Me?
By Ruth Ryans
I’ve had thirty-two Christmases on this planet so far and every one of them has probably had their own ups and downs, highs and lows but to be honest, most are a blur of the same old, same old.
This year I dreaded the holiday, but to my delight I discovered that Christmas can be even more magical if you care to step back just a little bit from it all and see how it sparkles from a new angle you’ve never tried before.
You see, readers, I was one of the lost and lonely this Christmas. Yes me, Ruth Ryans, agony aunt, who has the answers to everyone else’s problems – everyone’s, that is, apart from my own. The smiling face you see everywhere you go in this city, the one who turns up at the latest event and makes it all seem so effortless, was crying her eyes out inside at the thought of closing her door at home and putting in another night of darkness and silence. I felt like no one knew the real me any more. I was pretending to be something I wasn’t and I was becoming a bit too good at it, but then, as the first anniversary of my father’s rolled round, I crashed.
Doing my work was impossible, hearing Christmas songs was unbearable, thinking of my mother who I hadn’t heard from in years was cutting my heart in two and all I wanted was my dad to be there to make it all better, but that was never going to happen, was it? I’d gone through all the stages of grief in proper order– the denial, the guilt, the anger, and I’d hit the depression and loneliness stage with a bang, but at least I knew what was happening. It’s normal to feel this way when you lose someone close, but how could I find the strength to start that upward climb that supposedly comes next? I longed for the reconstruction of my life. I still had hopes and dreams – I just didn’t know where to find them any more.
Then, just when I was reaching my lowest point, I was reminded of an incident on Hope Street on the night my father died twelve months previous. The memory of that urged me to do something that changed not only my life, but the lives of seven other people on Christmas Day, when we shared the table as strangers, and left as the best of friends.
I was reminded that the best way to feel your heart beat again is to use it to reach out to others. I was reminded that a simple hello or a smile in the right direction can lift someone’s mood, maybe just enough to change their whole day. I was reminded that by bringing hope to the lost, and love to the lonely, that we don’t have to give away lots of money or material possessions, but that a small act of kindness has the power to change someone’s world.
This Christmas, I learned about the beauty of music and how when you sit back and really listen to someone sing something as simple as ‘O Holy Night’ when they haven’t been able to play in public for a long time that it can have more energy and meaning than a band or orchestra playing to a fifty-thousand seater stadium.
I learned that the pleasure of baking your favourite desserts to give away and share with others, even if it keeps you up half the night as you strive for perfection, can be enough to give you the confidence to get through some of your toughest times.
I learned that sharing a cup of tea with someone or going for a walk in the park and learning to admire the scenery on our doorstep, can be a vital step in improving our wellbeing and can really shift our soul.
Most of all, I learned about love and forgiveness, and how, by looking after each other, by showing that we care, be that within a family unit or with lovers or friends, we can achieve anything and we can overcome any obstacles that might come our way. I learned that it’s never too late and it’s never too early to tell someone you love them, or show someone you care. Don’t wait for the big moment to strike, just do it, just say what you want to say and do what you have to do to. Say the wordsnow, take the actionnow.
Christmas is about letting goodness shine from one heart to another. It’s about sharing what we have, even if we don’t feel we have much to give, sometimes. It’s about coming together, it’s about inviting others in from the cold and showing them they are still worthy, for whatever reason that may be. It’s about thinking outside of your own little bubble, it’s about seeing the bigger picture.
But you don’t have to wait until Christmas to be all of the above, of course. Kindness and compassion can heal the deepest of wounds and heal the hardest of hearts at any time of year, be it spring, summer, autumn or winter.
Please try it. Please take action. Do something simple today that just might make a difference to someone else’s world and don’t tell anyone you did it. You don’t have to, because you will feel the goodness shine from their heart to yours and that is the best feeling of all.
Happy New Year everyone.
Ruth Ryans
I close the newspaper and rest my hands under my chin, taking a moment to myself as a million thoughts run through my head.
I have certainly learned so much this Christmas, there’s no doubt about that, but I’ve still a big decision to make today should things go my way, and if they don’t, well . . .
