Page 25 of The Physician's Barbarian
I nodded. “Sounds good to me.”
And maybe after talking to these guys, I could figure out how to at least pretend to be the companion my next clan wanted me to be. What were the chances the barbarian I ended up with would be as kind and sweet as Godr? My chest hurt just thinking about it, and I almost wanted to tell the truth of my interests just to avoid having to pretend again.
Finn left after a little language practice focused on what I’d learned from Godr over the last few weeks. We talked about the horses, and I told him I liked to ride and that Godr was teaching me. All simple sentences, but Finn seemed pleased with my progress and smiled brightly before leaving to find his bondmate. They didn’t call them husbands here—I’d learned that in the first few days—and some got grumpy if you referred to them as anything other than bondmate. That lesson I’d learned the hard way when Einar overheard me and barked at me.
Godr’s walk finally brought him to where I was watching him, and he pulled the young horse’s mane to get him to stop. There were a few moments of psychological warfare, where the horse tried to fight the command, but Godr remained steady, and eventually the horse stopped and stood petulantly where Godr asked him to.
“Ambrose. Was that Finn?”
I hummed and nodded, putting out my hand expectantly. Godr smirked and pulled a treat from one of his pouches to toss to me. I hopped the fence, offering the piece of apple to the young horse, who seemed pleased with the treat.
“What did Finn want?”
I formed the words carefully in my mind before answering, “To eat by him.”
Godr cocked his head, eyes narrowed as he took in the sentence. “For you to join him for a meal?”
That sounded better than what I’d said. I wouldn’t say I was perfect with my speaking yet, though Finn said I was picking it up faster than most of the other tributes. I understood more than I could recreate with the language. I nodded. “Yes. Tonight.”
Sliding off the horse’s back, he offered another treat before sending him on his way with a pat. The young horse didn’t hesitate to take his freedom, running off without a backward glance. Godr huffed, giving an amused shake of his head.
“He acts like he is—” He finished with a word I didn’t know, and when I frowned at him, he corrected himself. “Like this is a bad place. He is happy here most days. What more does he want?”
Glancing at where the young horse was running free, gathering a few friends to run alongside him, I bit back my reply. I didn't have the right words to express myself, and even if I did, I didn’t want to say them to Godr. He’d done everything in his power to make me comfortable and happy since my arrival. I didn’t want him to think I was ungrateful just because I felt for the horse. I wanted my freedom back too.
Godr led me into the field where two other barbarians were working with the horses. One was checking hooves for rocks while another was checking ears. Godr had introduced me to them after I’d finally begun my language learning. Ferarn was kind; he had a bondmate and a young son that he sometimes brought to the field with him to introduce him to the horses. Drin… didn’t like me. It was clear with every dirty look he gave me whenever I was nearby. I found I didn’t like him much either.He constantly flirted with Godr, and despite telling myself Godr could do as he pleased, it still bothered me.
I approached Ferarn, peering over his shoulder at where he was picking a rock out of the horse’s hoof.
“Does that hurt?”
He glanced at me for a second before giving his attention back to the horse. “Not if careful. The rock hurts more.”
That made sense. He showed me how to check the next hoof mostly by pointing. He kept his sentences as simple as he could, but I could tell sometimes he struggled to come up with simple ways to explain things to me. He tried, though, and that was all that mattered.
“You can check Rhoddgorr? He will bite me.”
I snorted and nodded, straightening to look around for the horse known amongst these men as ‘the big bastard’. I’d had to get Uttin to translate that word for me since Finn was uncomfortable with the foul language. For some reason, Rhoddgorr only liked me, and once I’d started brushing the horses, he only ever let me take care of him. He stood in the middle of the field surrounded by other horses, one of the biggest in the herd, a sleek black from nose to tail. When I approached him, he eyed me expectantly. I chuckled, opening the treat bag I’d snagged from Godr before heading over and offering him a carrot.
“I need to check your hooves. Bear with me, I’ve only just learned how.”
He always acted like he understood me. He didn't seem to care which language I spoke in, either, which was curious. I ran my hand down his leg, lifting at the place Ferarn instructed to check the massive hoof for any stones. The first three were fine, but there was a stone stuck in the back one, and my hands shook as I tried to get it out. I didn't want to hurt him.
Strong arms came around me, Godr’s sun-kissed hands guiding mine in the motion that was best to remove the stone.
“He is patient with you,” he murmured as he helped me pick the stone free. “You have a way with stallions.”
My breath caught in my chest, and my body buzzed where he touched me. We’d kept things friendly since the misunderstanding, shoulder bumps and playful pushes. Even at night when we slept in the same bed, he made sure to keep space between us. I didn’t realize how much I wanted him to touch me until his arms were around me again.
Looking at him over my shoulder, I felt my breath catch. He was so damn close.
His eyes dropped to my mouth, and his brows drew together, his words barely audible as he asked, “Can I?—”
“Godr!” Drin’s voice broke the moment, and I jumped away, nearly stumbling into Rhoddgorr in my haste to put some space between us.
Godr looked just as flustered, his arms still out like he wanted to draw me into them again. It hit me hard that I wanted the same. I’d successfully suppressed my feelings until he was pressed up against me again and the flood of want crashed into me in a rush.
“Godr…” I murmured, torn about what I wanted to say. I didn’t know how to talk about it. It’d been years since I’d admitted I wanted someone.
