Page 27 of The Physician's Barbarian
He waved the comment away lazily. “I wasn’t happy about it at first, but I thought pretty much the same way everyone else did when they first got here. My bondmate changed my mind.” He wiggled his fingers at his barbarian, who grinned at his attention. Simon turned his focus back to me. “What about you? I heard you volunteered. Is it everything you’d dreamed and hoped it would be?”
My flat expression was my only answer. “Do people actually volunteer willingly?”
He pointed at Matthew, who flushed and ducked his head. “He did. Are you saying you didn't actually volunteer? Because that would make way more sense. Honestly, I find it hard to imagine any town being stupid enough to give up a physician.”
Since it’d been long enough that Evie should be safe, I didn’t feel the need to lie. “I volunteered to save my sister. Our father wanted to marry her off and when she refused, he manipulated the lottery to punish her.”
“So you punished him right back,” Simon grinned. “Are you his only son? How’d he take it?”
“Yes, and not well. He was still begging for them to change their minds when the barbarians showed up, but no one was willing to force someone to go when I was volunteering.”
“Even though you’re a doctor?” Patrick asked with a frown.
I shrugged. “There’s another physician in town, and they preferred him.” I blew out a breath, staring into the fire. “I don’t regret volunteering, even knowing now how well she would have been treated here. She’s in love with the baker’s son. He’s a good man, and they wanted to be together. The only regret I have is that I had to leave my son behind.”
Every time I thought about Sebastian, it felt like a knife was being stabbed through my chest. I missed him more than words could express.
“You have a child?” Finn whispered, eyes filled with unshed tears. It didn’t surprise me anymore. Finn was an emotional man, and I’d seen him cry a few times since we met.
I hadn’t felt safe enough to mention him to anyone before now, but I trusted them enough to speak about Sebastian now. “He’s nine,” I answered, rubbing unconsciously at the pain in my chest. “I sent him to stay with my sister before I left. She was supposed to take him somewhere safe and start over with the baker’s son. It was the only way I could think to protect them both.”
A heavy silence settled over the little group, and I felt bad for bringing down the mood, but it wasn’t possible for me to talk about Sebastian without it feeling like I was carving my own heart out. If I knew the way home, I might have already taken Rhoddgorr and gone to find him. It felt like part of my heart was missing.
Without warning, we were surrounded by barbarians, all checking in on their bondmates who looked stricken after my story. Finn’s bondmate actually scooped him up and walked a few feet away, whispering to him and consoling him as big tears spilled over Finn’s cheeks. Even Godr came to check on me, sitting by my side with a hand on my shoulder as he looked at the group in confusion. I grimaced.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset anyone.”
Simon made an irritated sound, glaring at me from his new spot on his bondmate’s lap. Even he had tears in his eyes, which seemed strange from the sassy man. “Why would you need to apologize? I feel like the clan needs to apologize. They should have checked before taking you away from your family.”
Einar, who had been checking over Matthew with a frown so deep it was almost a scowl, turned to study us suspiciously. “What do you speak of?” he demanded in the common tongue.
“He’s got a kid,” Simon answered bluntly. “And you assholes took his dad away without even checking first.”
GODR
While Ambrose had been taking lessons with Finn to learn our tongue, I wasn’t surprised the conversation between tributes was spoken in the common tongue. He was still learning, and they wanted to chat. It did make it frustrating to once again not know what was going on. I’d learned a few things from Zoya and Ambrose when I begged them to teach me, but not nearly enough to keep up with their conversation.
Thankfully, Patrick sat nearby and translated for the rest of us. “Ambrose has a son. He had to leave the boy behind to live with his aunt when he volunteered.”
Horrified, I demanded, “Why would he volunteer if he had a child to care for?”
I couldn’t imagine Ambrose ignoring his responsibility to his child. He wasn’t like that.
“His sister was chosen to become a tribute. He said volunteering was the only way he could think of to protect them both.”
The breath rushed out of my lungs, and I stared in awe at the man beside me. He knew nothing but the rumors of our people, but chose to volunteer to protect his family. I’d thought he couldn’t get any more perfect than when he showed how comfortable and happy he was around the herd. Knowing howfar he’d go to protect the people he loved only made him more amazing in my eyes.
My heart ached for his loss, though. A parent should never be separated from a child. When my parents moved on to another clan to assist them after a war, I had been heartbroken. We were close, and it felt wrong to not be able to see them every day. It took years to better handle the separation, and I was already a man when it happened. I still visited them at least once a year. Ambrose wasn’t guaranteed even that. I knew very little about the Ilvos clan. I wasn’t sure they’d allow him to fetch his son or even visit him. The thought of that separation being forever was devastating even to me, and I didn’t know the boy Ambrose had been forced to leave behind.
“Can we do something?” I asked my brothers, who looked just as pained at the thought as I felt.
“Not without his clan’s involvement,” Einar grumbled. Even he looked unhappy about the news.
A heavy feeling settled in my gut. The thought of Ambrose leaving was already hard to accept. But knowing he would only suffer heartache after he was gone was abhorrent. I had to do something. Even if I had to go fetch the boy myself.
Nineteen
AMBROSE
