Page 90 of One Hotlanta Night
“You’re… you’rewhat?” She’s not choking anymore, but her eyes are wide as she dabs a napkin at her mouth, trying to regain her composure.
“We’re getting married, Mom,” I repeat as I finally find my voice. I sit back down and hold out my left hand pointedly. “Didyou not notice this?” I ask quietly. She glances at the ring for only a moment before her eyes look back up and search mine, for what, I don’t know. A joke? Outright defiance? I hope that’s not what she's reading on my face, but now that Michael has dropped the bomb I was agonizing over, I’m on the defensive. My shoulders tighten as I prepare for her inevitable sharp words. I try to calm my mind, repeating internallyI can do this, I know how to do this, as I wait for the volley of attack.
“I thought it was just some pretty jewelry.” She swiftly dismisses the symbol of our commitment. Figures. “But nevermind that. Have youlost your mind?”
Yep, first shot fired. My lips flatten in a thin line as I shake my head.
“He—didn’t you say youjustmet this guy?” She speaks as if Michael isn't even in the room as she focuses all of her attention on me. My fiancé’s hand tightens as he pulls me closer into his protective hold. I roll my shoulders back, sitting up taller as I address her.
“I know it’s fast, Mom—”
“You’re damn right it’s fast,” she spits back.
“And I know it doesn’t make sense to you. I didn’t quite understand it myself at first. But thisishappening.”
“You’re telling me you met this, thisboya few weeks ago and now you’re going tomarryhim?” I feel Michael’s entire body tense, and this time it’s my hand that goes to squeeze his thigh in reassurance. I’ve got this. Despite faltering at the start, this is my battle now.
“You barely even know each other!”
“I know him better than you realize, Mom,” I say, doing my best to keep my voice steady even as I ache to retaliate.
The man that I love is not going to be another mistake, and I won’t let her treat him as such.
“I know him in all the ways that count. I know that he is good, and honorable, and strong. I know that he works hard, and values family above all else. I know that he’s motivated, and that he’s creating a future for himself. One that I’m a part of. And I know that he loves me.” I turn to look at Michael, and the pride shining out of his eyes almost floors me. His strength gives me strength. “And I love him,” I finish, talking directly to him at this moment. “So incredibly much.” I turn back to my mom.
She’s quiet for a minute. “Are you sure this isn’t just a distraction?”
“Distraction fromwhat?” My frustration bleeds through, and I don’t even try to hide it at this point.
“Distraction from what you need to do. With your life,remember?” She elaborates when I look at her blankly.
“You and I both know my life isn’t turning out the way either one of us had planned.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” she mutters, maybe not meant for my ears but I hear her regardless.
“Why can’t you just be happy for me?” It’s always like this. I knew she wouldn’t understand.
“I just want what’s best for you.”
“Yes, but you have to let me make my own decisions, Mom. Just as I’ve been doing for years now.”
“Yes, and look how that’s turned out so far.” She scoffs.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Michael’s jaw clench. “Listen, I’m not you, okay?”
Hurt fills her eyes, startling me. I wasn’t expecting that. “I never said you had to be. I just don't want to see you making a big mistake.” Her eyes and tone are softer now, the combative edge gone. I feel genuine concern under the sharp words, and it hits me in the chest. Maybe her love really does come under the guise of criticism.
“If it is, it’s my mistake to make,” I tell her firmly. “All this time, I’ve been trying to figure out what I want. And I’m still not sure what that’s going to look like. But what I do know for certain is that it isn’t the life I’m currently living. I need more. Michaelisthat more. He’s everything to me. I love him so, so much. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
“No, we haven’t known each other for long. Not in days, anyway. But my heart knows him. My heart feels safe with him in such a way that I trust him. Completely. I trust him enough to leave everything I know behind and pursue a new adventure with him. One where I’m not just a girlfriend, or a fiancée. One where I’m his wife.”
His hand that’s been rubbing my shoulder now squeezes me gently on that last word—his favorite word for me.
“I don’t know what the future holds, but I can tell you the way he makes me feel. He makes me feel safe and secure. Like a solid place to land when everything else goes wrong. He encourages me to figure out my dreams and pursue them. He looks for the best in me. He loves me. All of me, faults and all. He wants to build a home with me, a family with me… and I want that too. With him. Only him.”
My eyes flick to Michael, wanting him to understand that I’m not holding back anymore.
The warmth and love in the way he looks at me gives me courage as I continue, “Mom, I can see a future with him. Anactualfuture! I’ve wasted so much time overthinking this, and I’m tired of second-guessing. I’m tired of waiting to see if things are going to get better on their own.I love this man and want to start my life with him.This is what my gut is telling me. I can’t explain it in any way, shape, or form that will make sense to you or anyone else, but I know that if I don’t do this, I’m going to wonder what I missed out on for the rest of my life. I get that you don’t agree with it, and I don’t need you to. I don’t even needyour blessing. But I need you to accept it, and we would really like your support. Because here’s the other thing… We need to get married soon. Michael’s job is transferring him to Miami, and we’re going to have the wedding before the move.”
