Page 51 of One Hotlanta Night
“Less,” his voice hoarse as he promises me, and again I’m stunned that he understands what I’m saying without me needing to explain. I may be a social butterfly, but work events tend to be too much, so it was a lot for me to even come here tonight. But Michael said he wanted me to meet his friends, so of course I did. I’m beginning to wonder if I’d deny him anything.
“But you’re gonna pay for calling me ‘dude,’” he taunts with one more spicy nip to my lips and my insides light right back up again.
“Promise?” I tease, wanting to drive him wild. And the flare of desire I see in his eyes proves me right.
“Oh, mi amor, you don’t even know what you’re asking.” His heated look promises more of what we did the other night, and I’m ready to leave, right this moment. Screw the work event, I want himnow.
“Comeonalready!” Janice appears to my left and hip checks me. Groaning, Michael reluctantly lets go of my hand to retrieve two balls from the chute and gets us added to the roster.
“You guys are gonna have to alternate turns because we’re running out of space. What name do you want to go under, big daddy?” Adam asks, and I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who can tease Michael like that.
“Mr. and Mrs. Stromberg,” he calls out, and damn, if I didn’t think this guy could surprise me any more. The hoots and hollers start up again as he turns to me and wiggles his eyebrows. All I can do is laugh. This man… gah!
“You got it!” Adam guffaws and apparently I’m now a married lady, at least as far as bowling marquees go. “Let’s play!” Adam shouts and the whole group cheers.
Janice and I are walking to the bar for refills when she stops me and touches my arm gently. “I’m sorry about the whole sex-operator thing. Those guys can really be tools.”
I laugh. “Oh, seriously, don’t worry about it. I’ve been called way worse. And honestly, that’s kind of flattering.”
“I’m glad,” she says with a relieved grin. “He has been really different, you know?”
Janice has been nothing but genuinely sweet all night, including me in the conversation and making sure I didn’t feel left out. Michael’s talked enough about Adam that I feel comfortable enough to confide in his girlfriend. “Girl, I just met him a couple weeks ago. I actuallydon’tknow.”
She looks at me appraisingly, a twinkle in her eyes. “He has changed, that’s for sure. Michael is a great guy. He’s the most ambitious person I’ve ever met. He’s not only about the deadlines and profit margins. And he does everything he can to support his team. But his standards are really high and sometimes he can be ruthless when it comes to making the grade.”
This gives me pause. Hearing someone else mentionstandardslike that causes my chest to tighten up. This is exactly what I was trying to convey to Claire. We haven’t discussed our past…anything… and I can’t help but wonder if his golden view of me might be tarnished when we do. I’m not ashamed of my past, but that doesn’t mean he’ll see it the same way. I mean, the guy just said that he doesn’t date anyone he doesn’t see a future with. He’s definitelynotinexperienced, but I’m beginning to think his body count isn’t as high as mine, and I’m not sure how that makes me feel. I’m not exactly the girl you bring home to mama.
Waiting till marriage was never a goal of mine, but after a while, sex just wasn’t a big deal anymore. Not until Michael, anyway. Not until I realized how much he needed my heartinvolved along with my body, that mind-blowing, soul-searing night. A man who’s intentional and deliberate about everything may not be as understanding about my colorful history.
Before I can mull on this any longer, Janice continues, “To be honest, he can be a real hardass sometimes. He expects excellence from everyone as well as himself. But I know there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for us. Last week Monica was out sick with pneumonia. She’s raising her little girl by herself. And Michael went out and got groceries for her. He didn’t have to do that, Lord knows none of us are making a ton of money here. He didn’t want anyone else to find out, only said he knew what it was like to go without.” She pauses, a contemplative look in her eyes as I absorb this revelation.
I can totally see him doing something like that, having already been the recipient of his generous and giving nature.
“He doesn’t open up that much, but I know he misses his family back in Charlotte. Adam and I do what we can to have him over on the weekends and whatnot, but you can tell he’s missing something.” She turns to me with a grin. “All I can say is that I’ve seen him smile more in the past two weeks than I have all year. And I think it’s because of you.” She nudges me with her shoulder.
I’m reeling from everything she’s said, a million thoughts racing through my mind. High standards… excellence… expectations… Holy hell. My heart sinks. Experience has taught me that highly principled people can also be highly judgmental. I don’t think—well, I hope Michael won’t judge me for my past relationships, even though we both come to the table with different ideas of sex. But the truth is I don’t actually know. It’s still new;we’restill new. It’s not like I just jumped into bed with him; I’m clearly falling for this man. I’m a smart girl, I’ve always taken precautions because a healthy sex life is a responsible one.But on an emotional level, will he think less of me? Consider me “less than”?
I care very much what he thinks of me. Way too much for my own comfort. I’m opening up my heart, allowing myself to be vulnerable, and isn’t that what I was trying to protect myself from? More heartbreak? Because I don’t think I can stand it if this man breaks my heart.
Seeing Michael with his coworkers, the easy way they slap each other on the back and joke around, it’s clear that he’s valued and respected. All of our conversations have shown what a great guy he is. He’s loyal, honorable, and principled, and my heart is drawn to him with a pull I’ve never felt with anyone else. What will happen when he learns just how damaged I am? Not just my past history, but all of my failures, my body issues included? Doesn’t the saying go, “True love is someone who knows all your faults and loves you anyway?”
Trent was supposed to be that someone. Hewasthat for me at one time, but it didn’t hold. After so many years, it didn’t work out. What about this man who acts like I’m his everything, who I’ve only known for a couple of weeks? Once he learns the ugly parts, will he still want me?
I’m already in too deep. Before Michael, I’d resigned myself that I wasn’t worthy of someone like him, who had such great qualities. No matter how much I wanted it. I should stop this now. We should probably have this talk sooner than later if I don’t want to get hurt again. Before my heart gets broken.
Not here though. Not in public, where I might lose face even more. Tears prick at my eyes thinking about it. About how he’ll react.
My heart seizes at the thought of losing him. That’s what’s going to happen, isn’t it? The good guys don’t want the girls like me. Knew it was too good to be true;hewas too good to be true.My lungs feel tight as my feet catch on the worn carpet and I stumble.
“Hey, are you okay?” Janice’s worried look finds me as she grabs my elbow. “You haven’t even had anything to drink yet,” she teases.
I choke out a laugh. “I’m good. Just got caught up in my head for a minute.”
“Listen, if you’re worried about Abigail, don’t be. She’s just being a bitch. They only went on, like, two dates, and she didn’t even seem that upset when they stopped. She’s only interested in him again because it’s clear he’s ‘interested in someone,’ ” she air quotes. “And that someone isn’t her. She just wants whoever the hot item of the month is. Don’t let her get to you; she doesn’t mean anything to him.”
“Good to know.” I exhale. “For the record, I didn’t want to take anyone out tonight,” I say as we head back to the lanes.
“We would’ve raised bail for you.” She grins as she elbows me playfully.
