Page 29 of One Hotlanta Night
“Nope.” Her face falls when I say that. This is too fun.
“How theheckare you supposed to see him again?” she demands.
“I gave him mine.” I smirk at her. “Two guesses where I put it?”
Her brows wrinkle. “Um, were there no napkins at the bar or something?”
“He had me Sharpie it on his arm,” I say smugly, knowing she’ll get a kick out of it. That’s just the type of romantic gesture she lives for.
“What?” She fans herself dramatically and now I laugh outright. “That guy is totally calling you, and you better pick up when he does,” she whisper-yells at me so that Raelynn won’t run in to hear what the ruckus is about.
“I don’t know if I should,” I start and she shakes her head at me.
“If he let you put Sharpie on him—”
“He didn’tlet me, he insisted.”
“Even more reason,” she continues. “That stuff does not come off for a while no matter what you do.”
I know she’s right. Raelynn’s misadventures with Sharpies led them to being banned from the house after one particularly bad morning when we both woke up after a long night at the restaurant to find that Raelynn had decorated her entire face with one. Claire kept her out of preschool for a week until the ink wore off.
“Like I was saying, he clearly doesn’t care if someone sees your number on his arm. And that, my friend, is a good sign that he’s whipped.”
I shiver as I think about how Michael pressed my hand to his arm, like I’d branded him. I can still feel the heat of his kisses on my wrists. Such a sweet, gentlemanly move from someone who had just been grinding me against his thigh earlier. Can such a mix exist? He strikes me as someone honorable but who also wouldn’t hesitate to throw a punch. I still don’t know what that look on his face was about while I was dancing with Matt. He made it crystal clear how much he wanted me but also respected when I pulled away from that intoxicating kiss. I can almost feel the taste of his lips on mine still.
“Wow, girl.” Claire shakes her head while smiling. “I think you've got it bad too.”
“Nooo,” I groan. “This can’t be happening.”
“But why, really? Why can’t you get infatuated with a hot guy?”
“It’s too soon!” I protest. “And besides, remember what happened with that one dude?” The guy had potential, or so I thought. He was a customer at the restaurant, and we went out a few times. He seemed stable, like someone I could get closeto for real instead of maintaining my fun-time facade. “The one time I tried to open up to someone, and he dropped me like a hot potato.” I hadn’t heard from him again and figured I’d scared him off. Given that I couldn’t remember his name, it couldn’t have been all that devastating, but the rejection still stung.
“It just means he wasn’t the right one. Because someone worth having isn’t going to be put off by a little drama. Viv.” Claire touches my arm gently. “I say this with all the love in my heart.Allof it. But don’t lose sight of the forest for the trees.”
“What the hell does that even mean?” I mumble, covering my face with my hands.
“It means, yeah, it was a good idea to get some space from dudes and dating—“
“And stupid d–i-c-k-s,” I say under my breath.
She laughs. “Yes, and those too. But it also doesn’t mean you need to pull a Maria and go into aSound of Musicconvent.”
“Isn’t that what she was getting liberated from?” I ask, peeking through the fingers of one hand.
“You know what I mean.” She sighs. “Look, what does your gut tell you? Your real gut, I mean, not the one that’s hankering for some smothered and covered hash browns.”
“That’s the thing,” I say softly, looking down at my hands. “I don’t know. My gut tells me I’m safe with him. Like he won’t hurt me. I don’t know how to describe it. I feel good around him, like I never want to leave. It’s not like that huge burst of fireworks, I mean, it is… but more like, coming home, I guess? I’ve never felt like this before.” I sigh, turning my coffee cup side to side. “But that can’t be healthy, right? Like, how can I feel both things at once? Safety and excitement just don’t go together.”
“Why not? Why can’t it be both?” This time she reaches over and grabs both my hands in hers so I no longer have the option to hide. “You know that I love you like absolutely nothing else, and I'm going to tell it to you straight. Sometimes you have aproblem with getting in your own way. You’ve listened to the wrong voices and let it impact your self worth to the point that you don’t give yourself a chance.You are worthy of being loved. I know you’re still a little messed up in the head, hell, we both are, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait until everything in your life is ‘perfect’ to allow yourself a chance at love.”
“So what are you telling me? An amazing man just walks into my life and I'm supposed to, what? Just go for it?”
“That's exactly what you should do. Listen, I haven't even gotten to meet this guy yet, but I can already tell you're feeling things for him that I’ve never seen you feel or say before; no matter who you’ve been with.”
She raises one eyebrow. Ouch. Point taken.
“Just because you think everything has to fall on some well-ordered timeline that’s been drilled into you does not make it true. You did take a break. You took time for mourning or self-discovery or whatever you want to call it, but do you really want it to last forever?”
