Page 13 of Exposed
Jamison walked like a slow zombie toward the living room. He picked up the teddy bear he had given Kace earlier in the night. It was ripped in several places. He dropped to his haunches. “We can’t ever get this memory back.” Jamison covered his face. His silent despair broke Kace’s heart. Kace had gone into this relationship knowing Jamison had episodes. Jamison had warned him several times. It was inevitable for Kace to eventually see one. He couldn’t lie and say the experience hadn’t scared the absolute shit out of him. Jamison had still recognized his voice. Jamison hadn’t forgotten he loved Kace. He loved him enough to immediately come back to him.
Kace set the broom aside and moved to comfort Jamison. He rubbed Jamison’s back with one hand while he picked up the bear with the other.
“Luckily, some might say I’m a decent doctor. I feel certain I can fix him. Stitches have always been one of my top ten skills.”
Jamison sniffed, making Kace realize he cried.
Some things could wait—like this mess. It would still be there tomorrow. “Come on, gorgeous. Let’s get back to bed.” He urged Jamison to his feet. “I need to hold you.”
Jamison swiped at his eyes. He looked like hell. When they reached the bed, Kace removed the shoes he had just placed on Jamison’s feet before tucking him under the covers. He toed off his shoes and joined him. Kace cuddled as closely as possible, trying to squeeze the despair from Jamison.
“It’s a good thing we’re getting married. We’ll still have one set of dishes.” Kace tried to infuse as much humor as he could into the statement.
“I can’t believe you’re talking about still marrying me right now.”
Jamison’s voice sounded rough—like he had spent hours screaming. “Do you think I’d leave you over something you can’t help? If I found out I had cancer tomorrow, would you leave me?”
“No.” The way he didn’t even hesitate let Kace know he had been right to accept that proposal. “I can’t think of anything you could do to lose me.”
Kace kissed his chest. “Good. I can’t control getting cancer any more than you can control this. We just have to work on it like any other health issue—together.”
He heard Jamison swallow. “I could’ve hurt you.” His voice broke.
“The moment I said my name, it broke through. I don’t think you’d hurt me.”
“There isn’t a single gun in this house that doesn’t have a gun lock for this very reason. I swear, I would never willingly hurt you.”
Kace stroked his stomach, trying to keep him calm. “I know, baby. Everything is fine. Okay? I’m not hurt. Let’s just get some sleep, and tomorrow, we can deal with the mess.”
“Okay.”
A few moments passed in silence.
“I’m scared to go to sleep.”
God. The whispered confession was nearly Kace’s undoing. He was nowhere near as calm as he pretended and seeing Jamisonlike this was killing him. His insides shook. Kace had seen his share of mental health struggles that led to explosive outbursts in the ER. It was completely different when it was someone he loved.
“Tell me what you need. I’m right here.” Even Kace heard the desperation in his voice. He hated that his caregiver demeanor had broken, but it was Jamison. He was the strong retired military man with the heart of gold. Jamison wasn’t supposed to be the one who needed help.
Jamison rolled, tucking Kace beneath him. “I’m so goddamn sorry. You should be tearing into me right now or storming out. You have no idea how fucking sorry I am.”
Kace rubbed Jamison’s back and held on. No one could see him and be angry. None of this was his fault. “I love you. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. Just breathe.”
“You should leave me. I had a gun pointed at you.”
“Baby, stop. You’re mine. I’m not leaving you.”
Jamison’s mouth found his. When their tongues met, he felt Jamison’s muscles relax. Maybe they had this. He thought so.
Jamison was a complete fucking wreck. The moment he realized he had held a gun on Kace, just kept replaying in his head. It didn’t matter the weapon had been useless. He couldn’t imagine how he would feel if roles were reversed.
Yet Kace was beneath him, tasting like a miracle. The mood in the room shifted along with Jamison. He straddled Kace. Jamison was fully aware he didn’t deserve Kace. He had to give him a reason to stay.
Jamison urged Kace’s hands above his head and then licked his way down the center of Kace’s chest. He stopped to suck his nipples before heading further south. Kace’s stomach moved in and out on each panted breath he took. He held on to the headboard as Jamison peeled off his boxers. They had already celebrated their engagement earlier. Kace was likely sore. This wasn’t about Jamison. He needed Kace to have a reason to keep him. Jamison needed Kace to remember he could make him fly.
He swirled his tongue around Kace’s crown, teasing him. A loud moan filled the air. Jamison swallowed him, taking him all the way down his throat.
“Fuck. Yes.”
