Page 77 of Script Swap
“Yes, we’ve noticed.”
“He—”
“One time you tripped over Millie’s roller skates.”
“What I’m saying is—”
“And when he scratched his stomach and his shirt rode up, you tried to sit down and missed the chair.”
“Okay, but—”
“By about three feet.”
“I’m trying to say—”
“And that’s not even beginning to touch on the subject of Bobby mowing the lawn with his shirt off.”
“I am aware,” I snapped.And I sounded surprisingly grumpy, even to myself, when I said, “I’ve got a part-time job at a community college.I have zero accomplishments.I have, as they say, no prospects.And let’s be honest: if I tried mowing the lawn with my shirt off, there would be a petition to make me stop.”
“Ah,” Fox said.
And that was it.
Justah.
Just that one little sound.
That smugly knowing sound.
“What does that mean?”I said.
“Oh, nothing.”
For the most part, I’m a pretty easygoing guy (until it comes to desserts and Keme devoured the salted peanut butter cookies Indira made and heknewyou were going to keep some for the meal you invented called night lunch).But if you want to make my blood boil…
“And what doesthatmean?”I asked.
“It makes sense,” Fox said.“The hair.The clothes.The gym.Good God, Dash, the contact lenses.You’re trying to be a different person, hoping that will make Bobby love you in spite of your failure as a writer.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say—”
“I mean, it’s not a good plan.”
“Actually, I thought it was—”
“It’s not original.”
“I’m not trying to be—”
“It’s not even that clever.”
“Hold on.”
“It’s certainly not realistic.I love you, Dash, but you do realize that you aren’t supposed to make protein shakes with ice cream, don’t you?”
“I love you too,” I said automatically.And then, “Now wait a second, what do you mean it’s not a good plan?And they’re called shakes for a reason!”
“Bobby lovesyou, Dash.He doesn’t love some imaginary better version of you.If he’d wanted a gym rat, he could have had a gym rat.Oh God, remember that one with the skull on his biceps?”
