Page 65 of We Can Stay
“No.” My voice cracks. “It’s okay. I get it.”
“We worry about you. Mom is always talking about it. Hoping the next time she asks to visit, you’ll make time for them.”
“I’m sorry,” I rasp through the lump in my throat. “I keep meaning to visit you at some point, but…”
But “some point” never comes.
“You don’t have to apologize, Sebastian. We’re all just concerned that one day it will be too much. You deserve a break.”
“Yeah. I know.”
Another silence follows while I stew in everything Ben has said.
“Hey. You’re still seeing Flick, right?” He clears his throat. “Why don’t the two of you come over here? To the petting zoo. We can show her around the place.”
I can tell by the hesitance in his tone that he’s expecting me to say no, that I’m too busy. Which is precisely why I don’t respond with that answer.
“Flick isn’t feeling well, but after she’s better, we can. If she wants.”
“I’d like to meet her. So would Mom and Dad. Steph, too.”
“Uh…”
“You worried about Mom and Dad scaring her away?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I scoff.
“Think of it as a test.” There’s a lightness to his voice. “If our parents don’t run her off, you know she’s a keeper.”
“Oh, I already know that.” My chest warms as I think of Flick. She’s about the only thing that makes me smile these days.
“Look, I need to go,” Ben says, “but I’m glad you called.”
“Yeah, me too. Thanks for answering and listening.”
“Don’t be such a stranger, brother.”
“Okay.” My chest tightens. “Talk to you later.”
After we hang up, I stare out the window into the darkness processing everything Ben said.
I’ve spent so long running from the emptiness that followed my divorce that I’ve filled every available moment with obligation. But in doing so, I’ve created a different kind of emptiness—one where I’m too busy to actually live my life.
I need to break this cycle, but how?
My mind drifts back to Flick, as it so often does. She opened up to me this week in a way I never thought she would. Confided something extremely personal and scary for her and trusted me enough to help see her through it. To be there for her. She’ll never know how much that meant to me.
It also confirmed something I had already suspected was happening. I am in love with her. And I know it’s fast, but it’s true.
I am 100% deeply, authentically, in love with her.
As if she knew I was thinking of her, my phone buzzes with a text from Flick.
Can’t sleep. Want to tell me a terrible joke?
Despite everything, I smile. Because here’s something else I’m finally starting to understand: Flick doesn’t need me to be perfect. She doesn’t need me to save every animal or build a sanctuary or work myself to death proving my worth.
She just needs me to be present. To show up. To choose her not just in the big moments but in the small ones too.
