Page 42 of We Can Stay
“Uh, not a lot. About a thousand.” I keep my gaze on my knitting, trying to juggle my excitement over Alexis sharing myTwitch with my guilt over not telling Hannah about the whole thing.
“I bet you have more now,” Devin says. “Check.”
“Oh, it’s fine.” I wave my hand, though I really want to do exactly that.
“Come on.” Devin pushes. “Check it.”
I pull my phone out of my bag and go to my Twitch page. The number there makes my eyes widen. “Over five thousand.”
Devin whistles, and Maya claps while my heart races. That’s a jump of four thousand followers in one day! And all thanks to Alexis sharing my page.
But then I see the recent comments. More from @JustRaveled1018. And others that seem... off. Too specific. Too knowing.
Beautiful work as always, F.
Can’t wait to see what you’re dyeing next.
That coral shade matches your complexion perfectly.
I’ve never shown my face on Twitch. Just my hands and the yarn.
“Thank you,” I say to Alexis, shoving my phone away and trying to keep my voice steady.
Next to her, Hannah is smiling, but it looks forced. Even a little pained.
I tear my gaze away and focus on my knitting, counting stitches like meditation. “Does anyone know who’s opening the new ice cream shop?”
“Some couple from Portland,” Maya supplies. “Artisanal flavors. Lavender honey, rosemary olive oil, that kind of thing.”
“Sounds pretentious,” Devin declares. “Give me chocolate or give me death.”
Our conversation turns to other things—Alexis’s latest restaurant review drama, Maya’s recent class project, Devin’s yoga classes. But my inner monologue is a record on repeat,whispering promises of more followers, real fame in the knitting community, of more people seeing my skein lines. Maybe one day, I won’t just be selling online. Maybe I’ll be in major stores across the country.
I bite my bottom lip, thinking of the possibilities. The jump in followers is confirmation that I’m doing the right thing. All my work is starting to pay off.
This also means that I can’t afford to slow down. Not now, when I have some good momentum going. I need to keep creating content so that my new followers will share it with their friends and I can gain more exposure.
Which means I definitely can’t tell my friends about the pericarditis. Not now. Not ever.
There’s no slowing down for me. If I stay focused and follow my heart, it’s only up from here on out.
Between Sebastian and this new development, it feels like I’m nearly at the top of the world—and nothing could ever bring me down.
I’m still beaming an hour later when I’m at home relaxing, watching TV and petting Cat. She’s purring like a tiny motor, occasionally batting at the yarn end I’m absently waving for her. My chest twinges—just a little—but I shift position and it eases. Everything’s fine.
A knock at the door makes me jolt upright on the couch and Cat scampers off to the kitchen. I glance at the clock—just past 8pm. I’m not expecting anyone, and it’s a bit late for someone to just be stopping by.
My pulse quickens as I look through the peephole and see an innocuous looking brown box on my front step. I don’tremember ordering anything but I do order dyeing supplies frequently so maybe it’s just something I forgot about.
I open the front door and bring the box inside, setting it on the kitchen island. There’s no writing or markings of any kind on the box to give me any hints as to what is inside and my stomach twists as I realize there’s also no shipping label or return address.
I definitely didn’t order this.
Still, curiosity gets the better of me and I slice through the tape holding the box shut as carefully as I can with shaking hands. Inside is a skein of yarn, the softest cashmere in a rich shade of teal—my favorite color. Not just any teal, but the exact shade I use in my signature line, the one I’ve never quite been able to replicate in cashmere because the dye takes differently on that fiber.
I pick up the skein and see that there’s a note underneath it written in neat block letters:
THOUGHT THIS WOULD INSPIRE YOUR NEXT PROJECT. SEE YOU SOON.
