Page 24 of Outspoken Hearts
"My happiness isn't just about a job," I admit.
"This is about Eva, isn't it?"
"Partly. Things were developing between us."
"And now?"
"Now they're complicated. She feels blindsided by the offer."
"Did you keep it from her intentionally?"
"Not consciously. But maybe I didn't mention it because I knew it would complicate things."
"Always managing everyone's experience," Caroline says gently. "If Eva matters, she deserves the unfiltered truth."
"I've figured that out. Too late."
"Have you told her how you feel? Not just that she 'matters,' but how much?"
I hesitate. "I was trying not to pressure her."
"James, you're emotionally withholding. Figure out what you want, then tell Eva. No filters."
"And if she still needs space?"
"Then respect that. But at least she'll know where you stand."
Later, the answer comes clearly: I want Eva and our partnership. But I also want the opportunity Westcott represents.
Can I have both? Or am I trying to be everything to everyone again?
After Caroline leaves, I sit down to draft an email to Westcott's CEO, Robert Westcott. Not an acceptance or a rejection, but a request for a meeting to discuss possible modifications to the offer. Perhaps there's a middle ground—a hybrid arrangement that would allow me to contribute to their organization without completely uprooting my life.
It's a long shot, but worth exploring before making any final decisions.
Just as I'm about to send it, my phone rings. Eva's name flashes on the screen.
My heart races as I answer. "Eva."
"Hi." Her voice is soft, tentative. "Is this a good time to talk?"
"Absolutely. I've been hoping to hear from you."
"I've been doing a lot of thinking." She pauses, and I resist the urge to fill the silence. "And I realized something important. Something I should have told you that night instead of shutting down."
"What's that?"
"I'm falling in love with you, James." The simple declaration steals my breath. "And that terrifies me, because I've never felt this strongly about someone this quickly. Which is why the Boston thing hit me so hard. It felt like confirmation of my worst fears: that this was too good to last."
"Eva—"
"Please, let me finish. I need to say this." She takes a deep breath. "I reacted badly because I was scared. Scared of losing you just when I was starting to believe this could be real. But that's not fair to you. You deserve to pursue this opportunity without feeling guilty about me."
"What are you saying?" A cold dread settles in my stomach.
"I'm saying you should take the job. It's an incredible opportunity, and you'd be amazing at it. And I... I'll be okay. We can try to stay friends, or?—"
"No." The word comes out more forcefully than I intended.
