Page 87 of Fake As Puck
Like he was trying very hard not to look.
Which somehow made it more obvious that he wanted to.
When he comes back out, his hair is damp and he smells like soap and toothpaste, and I have to actively stop myself from staring.
“That was a fun wedding,” he says, putting something in his bag.
“It was,” I agree.
He sits on the edge of the bed, facing me. His elbows are on his knees as he leans forward. He is built like a muscle machine, and it’s not fair.
“About earlier,” he begins, and I sit up to listen to him. I let my legs fall on the side of my bed as I sit on my hands and look at him. “I didn’t get to finish.”
“Harry was really excited you’re a pro player.”
West smiles. “Yeah, he was… I don’t know where I left off,” he says. “I don’t know if you want me to continue.”
“West,” I say, stopping him. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
He scratches his chin with a soft laugh. “I definitely want to do this, Liv.”
“Okay, then give me your speech.”
He shakes his head with that beautiful smile. “I don’t have a speech.”
“I think it went something like: I dated girl after girl, and none of them compared. You were dealing with your sick mom, and I had hockey. I was moving around. I didn’t want to complicate things, and––you were cut off there.”
He’s blushing, and I love it. I love seeing the effect I have on him.
“You remembered all of that, huh?”
I chuckle. “I’m not drunk, and of course, I would remember all of that. It was so sweet. Those were words I’ve always wanted to hear.”
His eyes dart to mine now, questioning.
“I don’t date, West. I’m sorry I kissed you at your sister’s wedding. I was drunk and so sad over my mom. It was reckless.”
He’s shaking his head vigorously. “No, don’t apologize for that kiss. I needed that to realize something, okay? I knew your life wasn’t going well, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you. But you don’t need to worry about hurting my feelings–”
“I thought I did hurt you. I thought that what I did wasn’t fair, and it took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that you and I were never going to be together. And for a very long time, it hurt. I wanted you so bad, and that kiss destroyed me.”
I’m rocking on my hands now, and he’s on his knees below me. I don’t know when that happened, but he’s rubbing my thighs.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
I suck in the tears I feel coming. I’ve always been good at holding it in. “You had hockey, West. It’s okay. Really. It’s not like we were even a thing. You moved away. You had to… to chase your dream.”
His hand glides up and down my thigh, and I realize how big this man truly is. His hand is large against my thigh. My entire body shivers.
“Liv,” he says as his eyes dart down my body. I think the pajamas are doing its magic, and I feel guilty that I’m even wearing it.
“West,” I almost laugh. “I came on this trip this time, wishing I would be good enough for you and––”
He grabs my waist and shakes his head. The pressure of his large hands on me makes me inhale.
“Liv, listen to me. You are good enough. Please stop saying that. Stop thinking that. Don’t think anything like that. It’s not true.”
“It is true,” I say, cupping his face. My fingers touch the stubble on his chin. “You have always been so cool, West. Hot. Athletic. A hockey player. Popular. And I don’t bring anything to the table.”
