Page 47 of Fake As Puck

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I drag myself off the couch and to my room to change out of my dress and into something that doesn’t smell like community center and beer. When I come back down in yoga pants and one of the oversized t-shirts I packed, West has coffee waiting and is scrambling eggs.

“You don’t have to take care of me,” I say, accepting the coffee like it’s a lifeline.

“Are you though? Right now?”

I consider this. My hands are shaky, my head is pounding, and I’m pretty sure if I tried to operate the stove I’d burn the house down.

“Point taken.”

He slides a plate of eggs and toast in front of me, along with a glass of something that looks suspiciously green.

“What’s that?” I ask, eyeing the glass.

“Electrolytes. It’ll help with the hangover.”

“It looks like swamp water.” I grab it anyway, tempted to smell it.

He quips, “It tastes like tropical swamp water.”

“Appetizing.”

His eyes meet mine. “Drink it. Trust me.”

I take a sip and immediately regret all my life choices. “Oh god, that’s horrible.”

“But effective.”

“Are you secretly a nurse? Is that your off-season job?”

“I’m just experienced with hangovers.”

“Right. Professional athlete. I forgot you probably have a PhD in hangover management.”

“Something like that.”

We eat in comfortable silence, and I have to admit the eggs are perfect and the swamp water is already making me feel more human.

“So,” I say, picking at my toast, “back to reality today.”

“Yeah.”

“Flight’s at three. I should probably pack soon.”

“You should.”

“It’s been... fun. The fake girlfriend thing. Easier than I thought it would be.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Your friends are great. The wedding was beautiful. I had a good time.”

“Good.”

There’s something off about his tone, but I can’t figure out what it is.

“I think we pulled it off,” I continue. “The couple thing. No one seemed suspicious.”