Page 14 of Fake As Puck
I put back another loaf of bread. “I’m not going to catch feelings.”
“You caught feelings for the barista who drew a heart in your coffee foam.”
“That was different. That heart was really well done.”
She hangs up on me.
I stare at my phone, then at my cart full of unnecessary purchases, and realize she’s probably right. I am making this weird.
But also, what if Liv doesn’t like Greek yogurt? What if she’s vegan? What if she has opinions about thread count?
I grab my phone and Google “what do women want in a guest room.”
The first result is an article titled “10 Ways to Make Your Guest Feel Welcome.” I click it immediately.
Number one: Fresh flowers.
I pivot toward the floral section.
Number two: Quality linens.
Do I have quality linens? What even makes linens quality? Thread count? Thread type? The color?
Number three: Toiletries and amenities.
See? I was right about the shampoo.
Number four: Snacks and beverages.
Back to the grocery section.
Number five: Good lighting.
Do I have good lighting? What’s good lighting? Warm lighting? Bright lighting? Mood lighting?
Oh god, I’m spiraling again.
My phone buzzes with another text, this time from Liv.
Liv:Flight lands at Gate B12. Try not to have a panic attack.
How does she know I’m having a panic attack? Can she sense my anxiety through text messages?
West:Not having a panic attack. Totally calm.
Liv: Sure you are. Don’t bring flowers to the airport.
West: Why would I bring flowers to the airport?
Liv: Because you’re you and you’re probably overthinking everything right now.
Damn. She really does know me.
West: I’m not overthinking anything.
Liv: Good. See you tomorrow.
I stare at the text, then at the bouquet of roses in my hand.
