Page 2 of Bound to the Bratva
Tatiana, my father's wife. My mother was his mistress, determined to rip his family apart. She thought she'd be successful in her endeavors, but she was sorely mistaken.
If I'm being honest, I don't know if I'll ever forgive him for being such an absent father. I'm not a horrible person. I understand my mother put him in an impossible situation, but that shouldn't affect me at all.
He should have been there.
He should have made it a point to show up and get to know me.
He didn't. Instead, he left me to navigate the chaos that was my home life by myself. It was always me, my brother, and my mother. Her parents--high born Russians–disowned her when she announced she was pregnant with Nikolai Zuyev's child, my older brother, Sasha. They knew he was married, and tried to get my mother to abort him. I'm glad they weren't successful in their endeavor. I don’t want to imagine what my life would have been like without my older brother.
Ever since I was born, it's always been me, my brother, and my mother. My father paid for everything and we never had to struggle, but that doesn't mean we didn't have our tough times.
I grew up fast, faster than I should have, but I came to realize that's the price you pay for being a Russian gangster's daughter. His only daughter. I have three half-brothers and one full-blooded brother.
As a child, I took on the responsibilities of an adult at a fairly young age. It became a survival instinct after I was almost assassinated when I was nine. I guess in a way I used it to protect myself. I felt like it was better to be conscious and aware of the situation, rather than not pay attention because I was a kid.
Now, here I am, standing in my office at the hospital, trying not to let my hurt feelings from the past take over me. A part of me wants to shoot him down and say it's too late, that I don't owe him anything and I won't be going to dinner with him. While the other part of me wants to sit down and talk to him, to get long awaited answers to the questions I've never had the opportunity to ask.
I know there's so much I should probably forgive him for, but it hurts. He chose to prioritize his other family over us. I can understand picking Tatiana over my mother. She's his wife. Mom was his mistress...but there is absolutely no excuse for never being there for me and Sasha.
Sure, he was there financially, but that's bullshit. You can't buy your child's love.
I don't know about Sasha, but the fact he prioritized his other family made me feel like I wasn't loved. I was an afterthought, a chain tying him down, a reminder of a grave mistake he made being with my mother. By the time I was born, my father and mother were no longer in a relationship.
I take in a deep breath, trying not to be bitter, but it's fucking hard. Maybe tonight could be the night where I can give him a chance. Maybe, just maybe, tonight I can get some long awaited answers.
"Okay," I finally answer him. "When and where? I'm getting ready to leave the hospital for the day as we speak."
There's a brief moment of silence on the other end of the line. "How about in an hour? Come to Antonio's." I almost laugh. How ironic is it that Russians are going to an Italian joint?
"Sounds good. I'll see you then,"
My father and I say our goodbyes and just as we end the call, I'm calling my brother. Or rather, the only brother I have a relationship with--Sasha.
He doesn't answer at all, so I blow up his phone with text messages. I send each of them individually, hoping the influx of notifications will force him to call me quicker.
To: Sasha
CALL ME BACK.
911.
Not kidding!
You're a shit brother if you ignore me right now, asshole!
Within five minutes I'm getting a call back from him. "Fuck, Aria. What's going on with you?"
"You are going to lose it when I tell you," I start off, leaving my office and locking the door behind me. I make my way through the hallways of the hospital, waving my goodbyes for the day as I speak to Sasha. "Dad called me."
"That's odd, considering it's not your birthday or an important holiday." Sasha was given the same treatment as I was growing up, even though he's not a woman. Sadly, women are treated quite a bit differently than men are.
"I know, right? He wants me to go have dinner with him in an hour, at Antonio's."
"Hmm, that's odd. He only takes us out for our birthdays, or around Christmas. Maybe it's your Christmas visit with him?"
I laugh, thinking Sasha could be right for a brief moment, but I don't think he is. "No, this is something different. I don't know how to explain it. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach."
"You want me to come crash dinner with you?" I appreciate the offer, but it's not necessary.
