Page 106 of Fair Play
I glance from him to Blake. “And you brought a mediator?”
Blake snorts but Bodi just shrugs. “I figured maybe he’d keep you from killing me. At least until I can explain.”
“I don’t know how long I’ll be but go ahead and sit at the bar.” I turn and skate away, heading straight for Nita’s office.
“Hey.” She looks up in surprise. I don’t usually bother her during shifts.
“Bodi’s here,” I whisper.
“Oh?”
I hand her the note he gave me.
“This is promising, no?” she asks after she’s read it.
“I guess.”
“Do you want me to cut you early?”
“I know I’m supposed to close but…”
“But you need to talk to your brother. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure Trixie will stay. Leave it to me.”
“Thanks, Nita.”
I go back out to the dining room and spend the next hour finishing up. It’s closer to ninety minutes before I’m free to punch out, and another ten minutes while I freshen up in the bathroom, mentally preparing myself. I’m not sure what Bodi’s going to say, but I need to stick to my guns. His behavior has to change because I can’t go back to the way things were. I’ll always love him, but his need to control specific aspects of my life is frustrating.
“Hey.” I sink down on a stool between Bodi and Blake. “Buddy, can you get me a glass of prosecco?”
“Sure thing.” Buddy grins and pours a glass, putting it in front of me.
“So, uh, how have you been?” Bodi looks uncomfortable, but I refuse to feel bad for him since he brought this on himself.
“Busy. I saw your goal the other night. It was pretty.”
“Thanks.” He takes a pull from his bottle of beer. “Look, I need to apologize. For a lot of things.”
“Okay.” I’m here, willing to listen, but I’m not going to make this easy.
“I know I’m a little controlling. About where you live and guys you date. It’s just… in my head, you’re still that scared, sobbing fifteen-year-old who begged me not to put you in foster care.”
“Oh, Bodi.” I reach for his hand and he closes his fingers around mine. “I understand that but I’m notheranymore. I’m grown now. With my own wants and needs. And sometimes those needs include men.”
Bodi grimaces, and Blake takes a long pull from his beer bottle.
“I know that. It’s just… hard for me.”
“Why won’t you get help?” I ask quietly. “We both know this is trauma related to the accident. You made me get professional help—why was it good enough for me but not you?”
“I don’t know.” He looks away. “I guess I thought I was strong enough to handle it. I mean, I had to be, right? So I could take care of you?”
“Strength includes admitting when you need help. Just like I did when I realized I couldn’t handle the situation at the apartment anymore. I’m strong. Independent. I can kick ass and take names. Yet sometimes I still need my big brother. That will never change. But you have to let go, Bodi. We all have tomake our own mistakes—like moving in with a bunch of horrible people. I’ll never dothatagain.”
He sighs.
“Go talk to someone,” I whisper. “A professional. Work through your feelings, your fears… and maybe grieve a little. God knows, you never had time to when our parents died.”
“You should listen to her,” Blake says when Bodi doesn’t respond. “You do need to talk to someone. You know I’ll always have your back, but this time Billie’s right.”
