Page 107 of Fair Play
“In the off-season,” Bodi says finally. “I promise.”
“Fair enough.”
Minutes tick by, and we sit there in silence. It’s obvious Bodi has more he wants to say, so I give him the time to work up his courage. Or whatever he’s doing.
“Do you love him, Billie?” The question is soft, tentative, like he’s afraid of the answer.
“Doesn’t matter,” I reply. “He’s a lot like you, trying to make decisions for me because he thinks he knows better than I do. And I’m not jumping from the frying pan into the fire. One overbearing man in my life is more than enough.”
“Okay, then.” Bodi nods, like that’s the end of it, but Blake elbows him. Hard enough to make Bodi grunt. “What?” he demands.
“Don’t be selfish, you fuck.” Blake glares at him and the two exchange a glance that’s hard to decipher.
“Fine.” Bodi puts his beer bottle down on the bar. “If you love him, you should… go after him. Because I’m pretty sure he loves you. And he only did what he did because he didn’t want to come between us. He was willing to let you go so that our relationship wouldn’t suffer. He was also willing to take the hit, offer to get traded, to save my career. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t love you, Billie.”
“He did it because he doesn’t want to stay in L.A.,” I mutter.
“I don’t know about that, because when we talked… his feelings were pretty obvious. And, you know, because you can’t expect me to change overnight, I talked to Marty and Gabe and a few of the other guys and, uh, they like him. Everyone pretty much agreed that I was being a dick about the whole thing. That I should give him a chance.”
“And…” Blake encourages him.
“And…” Bodi grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut. “It’s not fair for me to, uh, come between you. If this, you know, your relationship, if it’s, uh, legit… like, the real thing for you, I want you to be happy. I mean, I’ll break both his legs if he ever hurts you, but?—”
I can’t watch him fumble through this anymore, and I throw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I love you, Bodi.”
His arms close around me. “I love you too. I can’t lose you, Billie. You’re all I have.”
“You’ll never lose me.” I pinch his arm. “Unless you try to interfere in my love life again.”
He squeezes me tighter. “I’m going to do my best, and if I start to, call Blake. He’ll set me straight.”
I told Rome I wouldn’t wait for him so I don’t know how to back pedal or if I’m even willing to forgive him for what he did.
Everything is still a mess, but at least I have my big brother back.
Chapter 41
Rome
Sweeping Coloradoin the western conference finals means we’re going to the championship, and the excitement in the locker room is wild. There’s champagne and cameras and interviews going on, but all I can think about is Billie. Athena promised she would do everything in her power to get her to come tonight.
But when I get to the lounge, frustration fills me. I know right away that she’s not here, and I approach my sister trying not to be irritated.
“I’m sorry,” Athena says. “I couldn’t convince her. You really broke her heart.”
“Dammit.”
“Go get her,” Athena whispers firmly. “She’s at the restaurant. And if she leaves before you get there, I’ll text you Nita’s address. Don’t let this go on. Every day you don’t go back to her, she puts another brick in the wall she’s building aroundher heart. If you wait much longer, you’ll never be able to get through.”
I know she’s right, but if I’m honest, this might be the scariest thing I’ve ever had to do because nothing has ever been this important. Nothing has been sorted out professionally, but being without her has shown me what my priority has to be. Hockey doesn’t mean nearly as much as she does, and even the fact that we’re going to the finals doesn’t soothe the emptiness inside me.
I’ve been putting it off, hoping against hope she’d show up at one of the games, but she hasn’t and Bodi said she isn’t interested. He also told me he wouldn’t stand in our way if we wanted to be together, but it feels like the only thing I can handle right now is hockey.
Billie seems determined to keep her distance but Athena’s right that the longer I let it go on, the harder it’s going to be. So even though I gave Ms. Barrowman my word I’d let this go until the off-season, I can’t.
I love her.
I’min lovewith her.
