Page 26 of Sugarplum Dreams
“I know what I’m getting into. And I meant every word I said.”
“You said you were falling in love with me. That wasn’t true.”
“How do you know?” he asked, and there was a little smile on his mouth. Because… He had felt something earlier, he didn’t even remember what they were talking about, but it was like the whole world went on without them. It was just the two of them,and he never felt like that with anyone before. He wanted to move his fingers over, touch her, feel connected to her amidst all the other things that were happening around them, and know that the two of them, in the universe, were together. It was an odd sensation.
“Because we only started talking today. And?—”
“You’re my fiancée. We’re getting married.”
“We just decided that today. You can’t possibly be falling in love with me?”
“People say there’s such a thing as love at first sight. Why couldn’t there be such a thing as love at first proposal or something?”
“The fact of the matter is not everything you said was true.”
“When and how I fall in love is up to me. And I choose to say that I’m falling in love with you. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. And that’s just the way it’s going to be.”
It seemed simple to him. His feelings were under his control. He was not under their control. So many times, people got it backward, even him. Sometimes he allowed his feelings to control him, but not with this. Not with something so important. Plus, there was that moment they shared. If he were a contemplative sort, he would want to think about that for a while. But it was enough that they had it, and he thought, was almost sure, that there would be more moments just like that.
“All right. I’ll give you that. Still, be warned. You can’t say you didn’t know. And if you need to back out, I understand. It’s fine.”
“Same for you. You can back out too, if you want to. As for me, I made up my mind before I even went to your house. It wouldn’t matter what anyone said. I know what God wants me to do, and I’m going to do it, and I’m going to love you, and I’m going to stay married to you for the rest of my life. Unless you choose otherwise.” He grinned a little. “Which I hope you don’t.”
She laughed and shook her head. “All right. If that’s how you feel about it, and you’re not going to allow a comment like that bother you, then I’m not going to let Beth bother me either. She’s right, and I wish it weren’t true, but it’s behind me. The rest of my life is ahead of me, and I’m going to change and walk a different way.”
“Hopefully not too different. Because I like you the way you are.”
“No. Just different in the eyes of the town. I’m going to marry someone who’s going to stay with me, for one.”
“Oh. I like that. Okay, well, in that case, I’m all for it. Because I don’t want anyone to think that I’m the same as Clancy.”
“Oh, goodness, no. You two are as different as night and day, with you being all the good things and him being…everything I don’t want.”
He looked at her gently as she looked down at her food, like she was thinking.
“I was really stupid at one point in my life. I sure hope I don’t have that problem again.”
“I think we gain wisdom as we age; that’s one of the benefits of aging. There are a lot of downsides,” he said, and that caused her to laugh.
“Tell me about it. I’m not even that old, and I can see that it only goes downhill from here.”
“Some things, some things actually get better. Like wisdom. But only if we allow it deliberately. Some people absolutely refuse to allow themselves to get smarter.”
“Or admit that they need to get smarter. I think that’s probably the first problem that many of us have. We just don’t want to admit that there are things that we don’t know, things that we can learn, even from people we don’t like.”
“Now that’s a good point. And absolutely true.” He took a breath. “I think that is the pride the pastor was talking about.How we have a tendency to think we’re right and not want to hear anyone else’s side of the story. We do that in marriages, and friendships, and in our daily lives.”
“Exactly. And I think it’s something that we can guard against if we know we do it.”
“Can I get you two anything else? Dessert?” the waitress said as she stopped at their table, setting the bill down and picking up their empty plates.
“I’m so full I couldn’t eat another thing,” Charity said, smiling and looking pleased. It made his heart happy to see how happy a simple meal made her. It didn’t cost much, and it was just the diner in town, but she acted like he’d given her so much more. It was nice to be with someone who was grateful.
He wasn’t sure that he’d ever been with anyone who really appreciated what he had done for them, and not that he had done a whole lot. Hopefully he’d grown since those days when he expected to be appreciated, but he didn’t recall anyone ever appreciating him the way Charity did. It was a refreshing change.
He handed the waitress a card along with the bill, and she walked away with their empty plates, murmuring that she’d be right back.
“We don’t have to go straight home if you don’t want to. Mom hasn’t sent me any SOS’s unless she’s sent you one that I don’t know about.”
