Page 53 of Sugarplum Dreams
“Yeah. And I know that sounds really weird, but you were so excited about it and happy, and I guess it bothered me the same way the kids did today when Mom comes in and they all act like she’s the best thing that ever happened to them, and we’re just here, slaving away every day all day long trying to keep a roof over their heads and keep them fed and alive, and they act like Mom’s Superman or something.”
“I see,” she said, and she really did. He was jealous because she was excited about her business, but she hadn’t shown the same excitement for him.
“Is that all you’re gonna say?” he said, blinking his eyes over at her, a self-deprecating grin on his face.
“No. I guess not. I’m trying to figure out how to say that you mean more to me than the business does, and you’re right, I did kind of act like the kids, but I wasn’t jealous or anything of your mom because I know that they love her, and that makes me happy, and also I know that they love me, and eventually if Grandma was with them all the time, they would act that way when I showed up. But deep down, I know they love me.”
“I guess that’s what I finally reasoned out, that I was being silly to be jealous of you doing something and not seeming excited about me. It was pretty much the same. I knew you really liked me.”
He didn’t use the word “love,” and she didn’t miss that. But she didn’t correct him either, because she wasn’t going to tell him that she loved him. But she had been kind of feeling like she did love him. Not maybe the way the world saw love, although there were some odd feelings stirring in her chest every time he was around that made her feel like maybe there was someattraction. The problem was, she didn’t feel like he was attracted to her. So it was hard for her to admit that. Still, she was pretty sure she could tell him that she loved him and it would be an honest thing. But maybe she had just been so set on showing him that she got caught up in it and hadn’t thought about saying the words.
Not today though. She wasn’t going to make today awkward. Not any more than she already had with her questions.
“That’s the right conclusion,” she finally said. “And I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings, I really didn’t mean to. I guess… I guess you’re right. I hate to say that I took you for granted. Especially after what my first husband did. I would like to think that I’ll always appreciate someone who’s kind to me, but in reality, I guess I’ve already messed that up.”
“As I’m sure I’ve taken advantage of you, too. And taken you for granted. But that’s kind of the point of remembering our anniversary. It’s just kind of a reset every month for me to be like, ‘hey, do something nice for your wife, because you know you want to.’” He put a hand up. “I don’t want you thinking that I have to force myself to be nice to you. That’s not it at all. Just sometimes… You get put on the back burner because there are other fires that demand attention, and you’re content, even if you don’t get everything that you probably should as my wife.”
“I get more than I deserve.”
They grinned at each other and kept chatting until they reached the train station, right on time, as the train was being loaded as they pulled in.
“We better hurry out, that train has my dinner on it,” Wilson said as he opened her door and helped her out.
They held hands as they walked across the parking lot. Wilson showed the conductor their tickets, and they got on and found their seats.
The ride went by quickly, and before Charity knew it, several hours had slipped past, hours which she had spent laughing and enjoying the company of her husband.
Just before the train reached the station, she excused herself from the table to go back and use the restroom. As she was walking back between the tables, an older lady caught her hand.
“You two look so cute together. I’ve been enjoying this entire day just watching you two enjoy each other. I hope you know you have something special.”
“I know I do. He’s amazing.”
“I meant between the two of you, but you’re right, he’s amazing, but you are too.”
The old lady patted her hand, and Charity took that as her cue to continue on. But the lady had reminded her that it wasn’t every day that someone had what she had with Wilson.
Could that be this elusive thing that everyone else got married for? That they looked for when they got married? Had they developed that after marriage?
Was that possible?
She had hoped and prayed that her husband would find her attractive, but she hadn’t thought that they would have that special, soul-deep bond that made someone feel like they married their soulmate. Was that contrived? Could people develop it over time, even if they didn’t think they were in love to begin with?
That went so far against everything that she had been brought up to believe that it was hard to grasp at first, but unless she and Wilson just lucked into each other, which she didn’t believe for one second, it seemed like it was something that could develop if both people were focused on living for the other and being kind.
She made her way back and didn’t see the lady sitting there, but she didn’t think much more about it, other than to remindherself that she wanted to thank Wilson for being such a sweet date. She supposed that’s what this was, a date.
“So was it a good anniversary?” Wilson said after they had disembarked from the train and he helped her into the pickup.
“The best. Although, I don’t know. Every anniversary has been good so far.”
“This is only the third one. Hopefully they get better from here.”
“I feel kinda bad though, because it’s always you doing stuff for me. You should let me plan our next anniversary.”
“I can’t do that, because I already have something in mind.”
“Are you serious?” she asked, knowing that that anniversary was a full month away, and he already had plans for it? He really knew how to make her feel special.
