Page 19 of Sugarplum Dreams
“Good to know. But still, we don’t really know each other that well. So it wasn’t like you chose me. You know?”
“True. I understand what you’re saying. And I agree. I guess we can complain about that, but it seems silly to.”
“I agree. Is that one of those things that the younger you might have been upset about, but the older you is too pragmatic to even be bothered by?”
“Yes. Exactly. I’ve grown up. And I think it’s mostly a good thing. Although, I guess I wish I could get my excitement about life back. You know?”
“The idea that there’s so much ahead of you and you’re looking forward to it?”
“That.”
“I have that. I’m looking forward to life with you. I’m looking forward to the challenge. This morning was…challenging. And I think that’s the way life is going to be for a while. Actually, it will be that way for a long time if we decide that we aren’t using birth control. Which is…kind of radical. But Jesus was radical. So I don’t think that radical should scare me as long as it’s biblical. Something that’s not biblical should be the scary thing.”
“I agree. But being radical in today’s world is to have the rest of society look at you like you’re an idiot and treat you like you’re stupid. It’s definitely something that’s going to get you looked down upon.”
“That shouldn’t bother us. If we’re doing what God wants us to do, it doesn’t matter what men think about us.”
She was quiet, because he was right. But maybe he didn’t understand how much pressure there was to conform. She didn’t know how many times she’d heard people say that she shouldn’t have had so many children, then she wouldn’t be in such a pickle when her husband left. Like having her husband leave was something she should have known was going to happen, and having so many children was a mistake.
“Do you have a lot of great memories about Christmas from when you were a child?” she asked, turning the question around back on him and moving the conversation away from birth control. That probably wasn’t the best thing for two people who didn’t know each other to be talking about. Although, two people who were on their way to get a marriage certificate should have already hashed that out.
She couldn’t win.
“I do. My mom is the best cook in the world, and we always had good food to eat. Dad would have more time off fromwork around the holidays, so we’d get to see him more, and while we probably didn’t get as many gifts as most kids our age, I remember there being big piles of presents, that felt like so much, and I always felt spoiled and happy and excited on Christmas.”
“Do you remember the day that you realized Santa Claus wasn’t real?” she asked, knowing that that was something that had clouded her childhood.
“Mom never did Santa Claus. It just wasn’t something that was in the Bible, and I guess she felt like it took away from Christmas or something. Plus, Mom never lied to us. Not once. She might not have told us things, I’m sure there was plenty she didn’t tell us, but she never lied to us. Including about Santa Claus.”
“I think that’s the way to go,” she said simply. She hadn’t told her kids yes or no about Santa. Other people would ask them if he had come, but she didn’t try to hide things from them. She wasn’t sure exactly what they believed, and she hadn’t tried to convince them either way. “I suppose a parent should guide their children, rather than just letting the chips fall where they would.”
“Why do you say that?” he asked as he pulled into the parking lot of the courthouse.
“Because I hadn’t really told my kids yes or no about Santa. I just allow it to ride. And when they would ask if Santa Claus would come, I would say, ‘what do you think?’”
“That’s a nonanswer.”
“Yeah. I’m the mom. I should be teaching them, not just allowing them to learn from whatever.”
“Well, you can start from today making a new way forward.”
“That’s what I plan to do.”
Today felt like a new beginning almost. Not just about Santa Claus, but about the rest of her life. She had told him she wasn’texcited about it anymore, but that wasn’t entirely true. She had a little bit more of a realistic view. She knew the work involved, how tired she would be. How hard things could be sometimes, getting to know someone new and bringing that man into her family… It made her nervous, but if she were being honest, she was excited as well. Just…tempered excitement.
He put the truck in park and turned the motor off.
Looking over at her, he said, “Are you ready?”
“I am,” she said, with as much confidence as she could put into the words. She was ready. There was no doubt in her mind that she was making a good decision.
Chapter Nine
“Come on in,” Pastor Connelly said as he opened the door to his study and stepped back.
Wilson smiled at Charity and allowed her to walk in first.
She gave him a small smile and walked to one of the two chairs that were in front of the pastor’s desk where he indicated they could sit.
