Page 26 of The Chance
With my wheels hitting every pothole, I hurtled down the long track towards the farm. I could see the tractor on the horizon, bouncing over the dry earth like a mechanical monster attacking nature.
Sophia stopped mid jump, looking up as I exited the vehicle with a silly big kid grin plastered on my face.
"Hey!" I waved over.
Her little nose wrinkled. "Are you here to see Mummy?"
I hitched up my skirt and navigated the rough surface until my heels hit the smooth concrete on the yard. "I'll come in and say hi once I've seen Seb."
Her pigtails drooped and her head lowered. "Uncle Seb went back to Dublin."
A sudden cold breeze replaced the warmth of the summer sun and the cackle of crows filled the stunned silence. I hunted out the tractor only to find Wayne in the driving seat. My rapid heartbeat paused. I inhaled the bombshell deep into my lungs. "Will he be back later?"
"Someone rang the house phone really early. I listened. He said business was important."
My tongue felt like it had swollen, blocking saliva and speech from forming. A head spinning shock rattled over my skin. Bringing my palm to my belly, I tilted forward a fraction as reality took hold. He’d known all along he was going to leave, but I'd put him so high up on the damn pedestal that I'd lost sight of it.
"Thank you, Sophia," I all but whimpered, barely holding back tears.
I couldn't even look at her cute face, scampering back to my car like an injured animal seeking refuge. Revving the engine, the car jolted forward and then stalled because my heel slipped. My body was convulsing, trembling – my heart had split with an earth-shattering rip.
Cursing my naivety, I cranked the gear shaft and tore up the dirt. I left the scene where I first met Sebastian and sobbed into my palms when I parked in my driveway.
The darn house keys were at the bottom of my bag. I had to tip everything out on the porch to find them. Shoving all the junk back in, I rose up on shaky legs and jammed the key in the lock. "Jeeez!" I muttered only to have the door swing open.
My father stood before me with glasses perched on the end of his nose, and his brow creased with worry. "Lexi?"
The loudest sob of all sobs juddered in my lungs, propelling me into his open arms like I was ten years old again.
His loving embrace was tight and prolonged. "Come inside. I'll make the coffee. Your mother is out for dinner with Aunt Fiona."
I traipsed into the kitchen with my heavy tattered heart in my hands, holding it outwards for him to see. "Sebastian Cooper went home. He didn't say goodbye." My voice was strangled when I choked out the goodbye part.
My father looked back over his shoulder with familiar skepticism teasing his lips. "It's only Dublin, darling. He'll probably be back this evening. Have you tried calling him?"
It sounded so simple. So perfectly rational, but I didn't have his number and the weighty dread in my gut told me he wouldn't come back. "We didn't swap numbers." Only bodily fluids.
The boiling water steamed in bright red mugs as my father stirred in a few heaps of coffee granules. "You'll have to wait for him to get in touch then,” he said with a perfunctory tone. He set my coffee down before me and muttered, "You’ve only met this man."
Nodding slowly, I agreed with his observation. It seemed crazy that I'd fallen so hard for a guy I'd only met, but that was fact – I had. "I really like him."
"Perhaps you need something to take your mind off it all. Are you happy in your job?"
Why ask that now? Did it really matter if I hated it?
"No." I sniffed loudly and took the paper hanky he offered. "And that's just it, I was going to tell him that I would apply for jobs in Dublin. I was considering a move down.” Hot coffee stung my lips. “Not to live together, but to give us a chance to see if there was anything between us. He didn't give me the opportunity to even suggest it. He just left." My palms cupped the mug for comfort. "I'm mortified. He knew he was leaving. His sister probably pitied me for being so foolish."
"You knew he lived in Dublin, Lexi." His tone was firm but his face softened.
"I know that, Dad, but it didn't stop me from hoping. We had a connection, I thought he felt the same."
Usually my father's loud coffee slurping irritated me to the point of growling, but this time it made me feel at home. "Give the man a chance to figure it out. It's early days. He could show up at the door any day, and if he doesn’t then he’s the fool."
My father's words had satisfied me that day, leaving me with a glimmer of hope, but after two long heartbreaking weeks, his positive outlook turned out to be a wicked mask of reality.
Sebastian didn’t come back.
In pitiful desperation, I would slow down as I passed the farm on my way to work, ever hopeful to catch a glimpse of him. Whispering to myself like a lunatic, I repeatedly chanted the words 'please be there', yet each time I thought I saw him, I accepted the tiny limping figure to be Wayne.
