Page 58 of The Honorable Texan
His face went taut.“No.I’m not sure she was comfortable telling me about it.I was more adamant in those days about families than I am now, and that’s saying something.That made the guilt worse.I wondered if she’d been tormented, thinking I wouldn’t want the child.As it is,” he added heavily, “it’s a moot point.The baby died with her.”
“Did Julie know?”she wondered.
“I never asked.It would make no difference now.But I’d still love to see her lining up for payback, for the things she’s done.She shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it.”
“People don’t get away with things, Blake,” she said, sounding much more mature than she was as she looked up at him.“It may take years, even a lifetime.But eventually people who hurt other people get it back, doubled.”
He traced her mouth softly.She made him feel comforted, safe, secure.He was a tough ex-special forces captain and he really did have the medals to prove it.But she melted him.He wondered if she had any idea what he felt for her.It was like what he’d felt for Shannon, years ago.Shannon.He saw her face, in the casket, white and still, her happy blue eyes closed forever.He felt sick.
It wasn’t Violet’s fault, and when he saw her uncertain stare, he felt worse.He bent and kissed her tenderly.He was anguished, but he didn’t want her to think she was responsible for it.He was remembering Shannon, as he’d last seen her, when the light had gone out of the world.He had to get out of here, to have time to himself to come to terms with the past.“Get some rest.I’ll phone you tomorrow,” he told her.
He’d promised lunch, but she could tell that the discussion about Shannon was wounding him.She only smiled.“I’ll look forward to it,” she said.“Drive carefully.”
He nodded absently, turned, and went to his car.He didn’t look back as he drove away.
Violet hesitated before she went back into the house.She wasn’t really worried.He wasn’t lying about their physical compatibility, and he did seem to want their child.But he hadn’t completely settled the past.He needed time, and she was going to give it to him.Shewanted him desperately.But he had to want her just as much.He had to let go of the memory of Shannon.
Somehow, she knew, he would manage that.
* * *
She and hermother had an early night.She dreamed about the baby, and awoke feeling flushed and excited about the prospect of bringing a new little life into the world.She didn’t care which sex it was.She only wanted a healthy child.
She wondered how she was going to manage to work and raise a family, or if Blake really wanted her to.She liked her job, but she loved the idea of being with her children while they were small, taking them places, reading to them, being with them.Her mother had given up work to be a stay-at-home mother, and she’d never regretted it.Violet knew that she would feel the same.If Blake had been a common laborer, and she had to work to help make their living, she knew she’d cope.But they were in different circumstances.She wanted to try it.
As she walked into Duke Wright’s office the next morning, she noticed that her boss was looking uneasy.He glanced up at her approach, and he didn’t smile.
“Did I do something wrong?”she asked uneasily.
He shook his head.“Beka’s on her way.”
“Excuse me?”
“Beka.My…almost ex-wife.And our son.”
“Oh.”She put down her purse.“Do you need me to do anything?”
“There isn’t much to be done,” he replied.He moved away from the desk with his hands in his jeans pockets.“I hope she meant what she said on the phone, that she’s willing to consider leaving Trent with me.”
“Maybe she did,” Violet said, trying to be reassuring.
He shrugged.“It’s just that she may change her mind if she finds out I’ve got Delene working here in the lab,” he blurted out.
“Does she know Delene?”Violet wanted to know.
He grimaced.“They only met once, at my college reunion.Delene didn’t like her, and it showed.See, Beka had barely graduated high school at the time.It was before she went back to college to get her law degree.Delene was in my graduating class—a science major, at that.She always was brainy.”
Violet’s eyebrows arched.“Well!”
“If she thinks I’m involved with Delene, she may take Trent right back to New York,” he said uncomfortably.“What can I do?I can’t very well fire the best biologist I’ve got!”
“You could have Delene go off on a fact-finding trip to Colorado,” she suggested.
He looked at her blankly.“Colorado?”
“Isn’t the National Cattleman’s Association sponsoring some sort of workshop for artificial insemination experts this week?”she wondered.
He pursed his lips.“Why, so they are!There was a brochure about it in the mail last week, remember?”
