Page 20 of The Restoration Program
She shook her head and shied away from eye contact when he ducked to look more closely at her.
“He acted like I wasn’t even here,” she said. A shudder rattled her chest, and she bit her knuckle to keep tears at bay. “So… is all of my money in your account now?”
His jaw ticked nervously. “It’s, uh… well, yeah. You don’t have any living relatives, so it fell to me.”
Here you are, having to save me again, she thought.
When her dad got sick, she’d needed to drop out of college to make ends meet. Ryan had been there to pull her up. When she’d landed the job at Tyche Marketing, she had hoped they would finally be on more equal footing. Now, all her hard work was sitting in his account.
A wave of indignation rushed through her, but she swallowed it at the thought of the agonizing hours Ryan had been left alone to make every next-of-kin decision and reevaluate their futures. Funeral planning might have been on his mind right before the decision to Restore her had been presented to him.
“I’m sorry. You’ve had to go through so much.” She slid her hand into the gap between his finger and thumb so he could carefully hold her. Maybe the small allowance of contact could cement her presence and ease part of what he’d endured. She cleared her throat. “Listen, I’m not worried about the money, as long as we still have it. It’s just one more thing that’sweirdnow, you know? One minute, I’m my own woman. Now I feel like all the balls are in your court.”
“These are all just technicalities,” Ryan said in earnest. “Trust me, nothing’s gonna change between us. It’s stillyourmoney, and you can do what you like with it.” He gave her hand a firmer squeeze. “You still have plenty of balls, baby.”
“Calling me ballsy?”
He flashed her a boyish grin. “That too.”
“If Ireallywas, I’d make you drive me down to the office so I could tell them off in person.” She tried to laugh it off, but a few stray tears leaked out. Sniffling, she reclaimed her hand and wiped her eyes hastily.
“Hey…” Ryan curled a finger under her chin, tilting her head up to catch her eye. Her breath caught in her throat. Ryan had never beenthisstrong before her Restoration. He’d never beenthisgentle with her, like she was something precious and fragile.
She felt pinned under his soft gaze, but hesitation laced his touch. He sighed. “I don’t want to scare you again,” he said softly. “But I don’t know how to hold you without…”
He trailed off, the unspoken words making the ache inside her peak. Fear threatened to win out. Her heart pounded as she wet her lips.
“I could go for a hug,” she said. As his eyes widened, she squeezed the finger under her chin. “But youhaveto hold still this time, Ry.”
“Okay,” he said, nearly breathless. “Okay, hang on, how about I—”
He pulled away and got off the couch. She staggered back from the resulting vibrations in the cushion, watching curiously when he lowered himself to sit on the carpet rather than tower over her. He scooted closer—close enough that she could easily reach him if she took a few steps in his direction.
“I won’t move a muscle unless you say it’s okay.” He looked at her pleadingly, resting his open arms on the cushion. He could easily corral her in, but he waited for her reaction.
Cynicism left her cautious. This was only an illusion of giving her power. But… he wastrying. She inched closer, forcing herself to stride with more confidence when she thought about how she must look like a skittish animal. She stopped in front of his shoulder, then leaned in to hug his neck. Her embrace was stiff and awkward at first, but as his warmth seeped in, she allowed herself to relax. She rested her cheek against him and felt the flutter of his pulse.
“Can I touch you?” he asked, the rumble of his voice making her jump. “Just… put a hand on your back?”
She hesitated. She’d made it this far. “Okay,” she said softly.
The warmth of his hand settled against her. His fingertips barely put any pressure on her side as they curled in to hug her. Breath catching, she shut her eyes. Small snakes of fear still twisted in her gut, all too aware of how effortlessly he could snatch her, but there were no surprises this time.
If anything,shewas the one clutching desperately. Her shoulders rattled with a little sob, overwhelmed with the relief of being able to touch him without blaring terror.
“Sweetheart… It’s alright. I’ve got you.” After a long moment, Ryan slowly straightened to look at her.
She sniffled and wiped her eyes. “Sorry, I guess I just… really needed that hug.”
The sweetness of that boyish smile dried her tears. “Why don’t we make some lunch and work through this stuff later?” he asked.
She touched the side of his finger and found their budding increase in contact tolerable. Maybe more than tolerable.
Like a woman in a trance, she nodded.
DAY NINE
Luminous clouds blurred into the line of eastern pine trees as Nicole stared out the car window. Though her angle was startlingly different, the sky didn’t seem any farther away than usual. If she kept her eyes high enough, it wasn’t hard to imagine she was her proper size. Look anywhere else, and she was slapped back into the reality of being buckled into a modified seat secured to the passenger side of the car.
