He tensed. “What’s wrong?”
“I want to try something. Just. Don’t move. Okay?”
“Alright.”
His obedience gave her the courage to brace her hand on his face again and press her lips to his cheek. He drew in a sharp breath, making her jolt back.
“Did you…” His eyes opened at half-mast to gaze down at her.
She nodded and gave a tittering laugh. “You feel like a porcupine.”
“Ouch. Thought you were trying to make me feel better, not throw jabs at me.”
“Can’t I do both?” She tapped his jaw playfully and stepped over, centering herself in front of his face. “Holding still?”
“Mhmm.”
Her fingers teased along the edge of his lower lip. Even though he didn’t mean to move, she could see the unconscious, idle shifts of his face.
It’s just a kiss, she chided her pounding heart.
Shutting her eyes, she closed the space and kissed him. The action didn’t feel any less strange than the anticipation. It was at least more pleasant than kissing his stubble—more like kissing a warm pillow.
Before she could decide how she really felt about the intimacy, long fingers crept up and seized her around the waist. She broke off the kiss with a frightened gasp, but Ryan was too swept up in his excitement to notice. He planted a fervent kiss on her cheek—though his lips covered a lot more than that.
Astonishment kept her locked in place even as he gave a contented sigh and kissed her twice more. He began to lift her off the dresser, breaking her out of her stupor.
“Ryan!” Her feet scrabbled against the wood, and she shoved his fingers.
He released her. She lost balance and fell to a seat on the edge of her mattress. His frown was the first thing she saw, followed by his hands approaching her with concern.
“Stop!” She threw her arms up to guard herself, marginally relaxing when he didn’t come any closer.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, his frown deepening.
“N-no, but…” Lowering her arms, she touched her cheek. Her skin tingled from his overwhelming affection. “I’m not ready for that. I told you to hold still.You saidyou would!”
He leaned back to give her space, hands out of sight. “I’m sorry. With you kissing me, I thought that was my signal to go.” He gave her a long look, and she made an effort to look less scared. “Don’t worry—I won’t come close unless you say I can.”
The guilt in his expression softened her tone. “Just don’t do it again. Please.”
“I won’t jump the gun next time. I swear. But what you did, Nicki, that… that feltnice.”
“You could actually feel me?”
“Yeah. Right here.” He tapped to the spot on his lip she had kissed. “You’re not as small as you think you are.”
Steeling herself, she pointed to his hand and beckoned him closer. He brought it toward her at a snail’s pace, until she could reach out and guide his pointer finger close. She ran her hand over his fingertip, willing herself to get used to touching him. Her silence drew out for nearly a minute before Ryan chuckled.
“This might be the part where you tell me I’m not as big and scary as I think I am,” he said dolefully.
She gave a good-natured laugh and kissed his knuckle.
“Night, Ry.”
“Night, hon,” he said, pulling his finger away and reaching over her head to shut off the bedside lamp. His voice floated to her through darkness that was broken by the faint hallway light. “This place is home with you back again.”
Their mattress gave a shrill creak as Ryan crawled under the covers and settled down. He lay facing her, choosing to sleep onhisside of the bed. Her old pillow and space were left wide open for her, though she could never hope to fill that spot again.