Page 136 of The Restoration Program
“Oh no,” Darlene whispered, brushing a comforting fingertip over Nicole’s shoulder. “What did they say?”
Nicole trembled and wiped her eyes. “You’re gonna need to sit for this.”
Darlene pulled her chair up and handed over a NüPrint-sized mug of tea. Nicole told her everything.
“That son of a bitch,” Darlene hissed, white-knuckling the handle of her mug. “What did Jenning have to say about all that?”
Nicole shrugged. “I didn’t give us a chance to discuss it. I hung up before I looked at the messages.”
“I mean, a smart lady like that has probably put two and two together at this point, but she doesn’t know the whole story. She has to hear it from you.Everything. He can’t get away with what he did to you, Nicki. What are you gonna do?”
“I… I don’t know. I hurt him, too.” Nicole choked on a sob, thinking of Carlos’ last message. What were the chances she’d ever get to reply to him in person? “Ryan attacked Carlos because… because I kissed him.”
Darlene’s brows furrowed. “Are you serious? That’s nothing compared to what Ryan did!” She shook her head and gathered herself, softening somewhat. “Did you love him? Carlos?”
Pursing her lips, Nicole shook her head. “I care about him, but… It was just a kiss—that’s all iteverwas. A momentary lapse because I was dying to kiss someone my own size. But Ryan saw. If things weren’t fucked up before, I made damn sure of it then.” She laughed harshly, more hot tears leaking onto her cheeks.
Darlene cupped both hands around Nicole’s hunched shoulders.
“This is not your fault,” she hissed. “Do you hear me? Nothing excuses what he did to you.Nothing.You made a mistake—if you even want to call it that. But Ryan crossed a hard fucking line in the sand that speaks volumes of whoheis, not you.”
The world felt less real as the gravity of the situation continued to wash over her again and again, like battering waves against the shore. He’d become her world after her parents’ deaths. How much of her existence had been built on lies, even from the beginning?
“It really is that bad, isn’t it?” she said, cold and quiet.
Darlene looked at her sadly, like she wished more than anything she could refuse to answer. “He’s turned into a fucking monster.”
“But I still don’t want to lose him,” Nicole admitted with a soft sob. Her breathing quickened into pants. So many lies. And what next?
No mother. No father. The idea of saying goodbye to Ryan felt like being shot, all her insides collapsing.
Poor little Nicole. All alone,a voice sneered in the back of her mind.
“I should have died. I-I was supposed to. None of this would have happened.”
“Don’t say that. You’re here, and there’s no changing that.” Darlene cocked her head, trying to catch Nicole’s eye. “He made the choice to bring you back, but that doesn’t mean he gets to control you.”
Nicole summoned the strength to stand, even as hollowness spread through every nerve in her body. “I think he and I need to talk. All cards on the table.” When Darlene’s eyes widened, Nicole added, “I’m not saying I forgive him. I don’t think I ever can. But we should decide what happens together.” She touched the diamond resting heavily on her neck. “I should return this to him.”
Although Darlene still looked like she wanted to argue, her protests accumulated into a sigh. “You sound like you have your mind made up.”
Nicole nodded, the slight motion surreal. “There’s no future. Not right now. We just need to stop pretending, dragging each other along.”
The gentle pressure on her back shifted, and soft fingertips gripped her hands. Squeezed. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need,” Darlene said, and when Nicole looked up, she found those big eyes wet and rimmed with tears. “You can stay here as long as you need. Don’t think for asecondthat I’m leaving you to fend for yourself.”
Relief mingled with a dozen other feelings. Miraculously, that simple promise left her feeling more secure than anything else had in weeks.
“Thank you,” Nicole said, biting back another sob. “I’ve been a burden from the moment I got into that fucking accident, but…thank you.”
“Hey, it goes both ways.” Darlene dropped her chin to the table and pulled Nicole to her shoulder. “There’s only one thing I can thank that asshole for, and it’s giving me the chance to still know you.”
Something about the softness of Darlene’s hoodie and the gentle strength of her embrace broke the last remaining tether on Nicole’s composure. Her knees buckled, and she wept into Darlene’s shoulder until she had nothing left to give.
DAY ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY-SIX
They approached the apartment at night, when Nicole was certain that Ryan would be home even if he put in a few late hours at the office. Sure enough, the car was in its usual spot.
“Are you sure about this?” Darlene asked once she parked. “Maybe we should call first.”
