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“Everything okay?” Ryan asked.

“Of course. Why?”

“You didn’t finish.”

She ran her lips together, stifling guilt. She hadn’t orgasmed for a while, actually. Not since the second time they tried mutual masturbation, and she’d had wine to help her attain that special moment.

“I’m just tired,” she said. “It’s not you, babe.”

Ryan smiled at her softly, eyes glittering, his task unfinished. “Do you need some help?”

He dragged his index finger down her stomach. He nudged her legs apart. She took hold of his finger, stopping him in his tracks before gently pushing his hand off altogether.

“I’m just too tired,” she whispered. “Sorry.”

Disappointment flickered over Ryan’s face before he gave her a little shake of his head. “Hey, hey… You don’t have to apologize. We’re still learning what works.” He kissed the top of her head and pulled her under his chin.

“You’re right,” she murmured. “We’ve got time.”

She leaned into his embrace, but the guilt would not ebb. Matching his energy and desire became harder each time. There was no question in her mind about what was wrong. She missed having him comfortably within reach. She missed being able to slide her arms over his shoulders, run her fingers through his hair. She missed being able tofittogether.

“I just feel bad,” he said, rubbing circles on her back. “I want you to feel good too.”

“I feel plenty good, baby.”

“I miss making you scream,” Ryan persisted softly. “Tell me what you want.”

“I don’t know.” Nicole kissed his palm. “You’re fine, I promise!We’refine.”

His warm breath on her skin did nothing to bar the memory of some of their greatest hits. The sex had been louder. Harder. A version ofnormalthat had suited them.

Just when she was about to suggest they clean up and go to sleep, Ryan made a soft noise of contemplation.

“Maybe… we should try something new,” he said. “Tonight.”

“Something new?”

“If what we’re doing isn’t working for you, that means we have to get a little more creative, right?” He moved her to the pillow. His hands rested on either side of her, and his eyes roved her up and down in thought. “I dunno, maybe we should try something weird.”

Nicole gave a startled giggle. “How weird are we talking?”

“Well, it’s still my birthday, right?” He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip—both coy and aching. There was something sweet about his sheepishness, but it left her apprehensive about what he had in mind. “You still have your knitting stuff in the closet?” he asked.

She blinked at him. “Uh, yeah. I think so. Buried under a bunch of other crap. Why? Want me to knit you a scarf for your birthday?”

He ducked to kiss her cheek before he sprang out of bed. “Be right back.”

Nicole stared at the doorway, puzzled as she listened to him rummage through the hall closet until he found what he was looking for. He strode back into the room with an untouched skein of red yarn and a pair of scissors.

He sat at the edge of the bed and carefully unraveled a small length of yarn, peeking up at her several times before he cut the length that he wanted. Her heart took up a faster pace as he wound the yarn between his fingers and tugged experimentally. His eyes settled back on her, and he crawled the rest of the way onto the bed, kneeling in front of the pillow.

“You…” Nicole’s eyes stayed locked on the red string, and her voice petered out. She cleared her throat. “You want to tie me up?”

He shrugged, looking even more shy than before. “A little harmless roleplay never hurt anyone. Come on, what happened to the girl who lost her top at Cynthia’s New Year’s Eve party three years in a row?”

“Ryan!” A laugh loosened some of the tension in her chest. “That wasone time, not three.”

“If you say so.” He lowered onto hands and knees, looming over her. “I bet I could make that wild side come out again tonight. Hm?”