Page 47 of The Restoration Program
“Sorry.” She flexed her hands in her lap, feeling the soft cotton of her olive-colored maxi skirt. “You said you told your coworkers about… how I am now?”
“Bits and pieces.”
Nicole nodded, understanding this to meanbut they have no idea what it’s truly like. She got to her feet. She could put their entrance off for hours and Ryan would allow it, but that wouldn’t be fair to him.
“Well, I for one, am just buzzing to brag about this,” she said, motioning for him to lift her up. She still flinched as the ground vanishing under her feet. “I mean, just think about howproudDr. Burman will be when we tell him about this.”
Holding her near his face, Ryan tucked her long hair behind her ear affectionately. Nicole’s heart stammered. He used to do that all the time,before.She’d missed it.
“I’m proud of you, too, Nicki. For wanting to give this a shot. Maybe it’ll keep both of us from going nuts, huh?”
Both of us? Nicole stiffened with a stab of injustice. Every day that Ryan stepped out of the apartment, she was the one who suffered the jarring upheaval of her daily routine. He had the power to bury himself in his work and get away from worrying about their situation.
And… she was taking that privilege away by coming with him. Her annoyance soured into guilt. He could get into trouble for bringing her in. The least she could do was stay positive.
“Yousureyou’re okay?” Ryan touched her cheek. “You’re not scared?”
She forced a smile. “I’m with you. What’s there to be scared of? Come on. We better head in.”
Ryan exhaled slowly and grabbed his satchel from the car floor.
They had worked it out the night before. One of the two large outer pockets was stuffed with a piece of Nicole’s old blouse—the softest they could find in the closet. It hadn’t been fun to watch Ryan destroy an article of her clothing, but now she could get practical use out of it. Better than huddling among the coarse texture of the bag. Even if the space was smaller than she would have liked, she had enough wiggle room to peek outside when the flap was fastened shut.
Ryan held the pocket wide open with his free hand, lowering her gently and watching as she settled into the blouse scrap. Apparently she didn’t look as calm as she wanted. He gave her a knowing look and hunkered down to lay an assuring kiss atop her head.
“Sit tight,” he said. “Whatever happens, you won’t have to be crammed in there for long.”
His hand slid away, and the pocket was secured in darkness.
The moment Ryan stepped out of the car, a strange distance bloomed between them. Nicole was directly by his side, yet they were in very different worlds. She couldn’t hold his hand as he stepped into the elevator, couldn’t even give a clippedgood morningto the people who passed him on his route. She had to remain as innocuous as the laptop and legal pad that swayed in the satchel behind her.
The elevator slowed after a short ascent. The doors slid open. Other passengers arrived—Nicole made out two sets of footsteps. Ryan moved to the corner to give the arrivals a wide berth. She imagined the nervous hum of his pulse, prompting her to clutch fistfuls of the fabric around her.
The elevator began to rise again.
“No ‘good morning’ today, Northe?” a woman’s pouty voice said. “What, is it too early for you to be friendly?”
Ryan’s weight shifted. “Sorry, Cora. Barely got my eyes open.”
Nicole curiously pulled up the corner of the leather flap. From where the satchel rested against Ryan’s hip, she spotted a black pencil skirt on the woman—Cora—and a pair of khakis on the other passenger.
The man chuckled awkwardly. “So you’re really back full-time? Even with your girl… you know?”
Ryan’s stony silence was deafening. She was glad to not be on the receiving end of the look he had to be throwing his coworker’s way.
“Hey, it’s just a question,” the guy said. His hands lifted placatingly, an expensive watch glinting on his wrist. “Look, I know you don’t like questions, but the suspense killing me… TheAssemblypicture came up again on my feed last night. It blows my mind every time. How’re things in bed? Does she have to like—”
“Jeff, what the actualfuckare you talking about?” Cora said, her bright tone dripping with venom. “Northe could sock you in the face right now, and I would gladly hold your arms back to help him. Would you be asking about this if she was paraplegic? You know what, maybe you would.”
Jeff cleared his throat. “Take it easy. Can I at least ask how she’s doing?”
Ryan’s grip tightened on the satchel strap. “She’s fine.”
“I mean, it’s gotta be tough to adjust, right? Pretty girl turned into a little thing like that…”
“Do you really want to be asking me that in a closed space with no cameras?” Ryan asked cooly.
The elevator chimed and ground to a halt. Ryan stepped up to the doors, sending Nicole to the bottom of the pocket as the rhythm of his steps resumed. The click of high heels followed closely.
