Page 28 of The Restoration Program
She didn’t bother to hide her relief. “Good choice.”
The carrying tray’s matte surface stared up at her, but she couldn’t make her feet move. A cursory glance around the room confirmed that not a single other NüPrint was using anything else but their partner’s hands. Holly was even riding sidesaddle on Alex’s shoulder as he shuffled towards the refreshments for seconds.
“Nicki?” Ryan questioned softly.
“I… I’m ready to give it a try.” She squeezed her fists at her sides and gathered her bravery, looking Ryan in the eye. “Without the tray. I have to get used to being carried sometime, right? Preferably when you’re not saving me from falling to my death.”
Ryan’s lips parted in understanding. “Are you sure?”
She nodded.
He slowly tucked the tray under his arm, watching her expression the whole time like she might change her mind. She nearly did when he reached for her. She braced herself, goosebumps prematurely rising along her limbs.
His touch was tentative yet strong. He cupped one hand at her back while the other tipped under her knees like a seat. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach, like on her second date when he’d brushed his hand against her inner thigh for the first time. When she’d beendesperatefor him to do so much more.
With aching care, he lifted her toward his face. She flinched and gripped his fingers so hard, it must have been painful for him—or at least a bit irritating—but he didn’t speak a word of complaint.
“Is this okay?” He couldn’t hide his breathless smile. “The pressure? Your position?”
Nicole nodded and cautiously let up on a fraction of her grip. “Y-you actually make a decent seat.” She swore her voice was an octave higher than usual, trembling along with her body. “This okay foryou?”
His hands shifted against her sides, weighing her accommodatingly. “Yeah, it’s good.” Fondness flooded his eyes, an awed look so tender that she forgot she was several stories off the ground. “I know this is a lot to take in. You’re so fucking brave.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips against her forehead in a featherlight kiss. It made her heart skip a beat, but not from terror. When he brought her up to look at her again, she was the one who closed the distance this time. She rested her forehead against the space between his eyes. His solidness made her shivers lessen. His comforting scent surrounded her. The sensation ofhome.
“Don’t want to jump off yet?” he murmured, a note of uncertainty in his voice—worry that her contentment was a fragile thread that would snap at any moment.
She leaned back into his grasp and smiled coyly. “Tempted to let you hold me on your lap on the drive back. For practice.”
His teeth raked his lower lip, his grip tightening ever-so-slightly. “Babe, I wouldn’t make it out of the parking lot.”
Nicole grinned, though blushing like a virgin. Amazed that Ryan could shoot her thefuck meeyes while she was so small.
“Besides,” he said. “I owe you a milkshake, don’t I?”
He listed off drive-thrus they could hit on the way back, doing hisdata thingand beginning to rank the best places by convenience and quality of ingredients. A prickle of eyes made her zone out of Ryan’s amicable chatter.
Ellis stared hard at her from Todd’s cupped hands as Burman spoke to them. His gaze was dark and unreadable, leaving her with chills and a dampened smile.
“Nicki?” Ryan asked, following her gaze. “What’s up?”
Todd turned, and Ellis vanished from view. The two of them went out the double doors, and though Nicole assured Ryan she was fine, Ellis’ frigid expression wouldn’t leave her mind.
DAY ELEVEN
It had all started with a stupid vase.
Nicole had always known Ryan’s parents disliked her, but the vase incident evolved the lurking sentiment to outward hostility. She still cringed at the memory of how they had excitedly assumed she was Korean and gifted her a vase that had nothing to do with her Chinese-American heritage. How awkward the rest of the lunch had been when she corrected them.
Looking back, it was easy to understand why Ryan had scarcely mentioned them—even when she probed the subject of meeting his family when their relationship got serious. Ryan’s wince at the idea had made her giggle at first. She was blinded by her secret excitement about the thought of having a bigger family. Her own mother had passed away long ago, and her father’s failing health made him inclined to join her soon.
Ryan told her to lower her expectations for their meeting, but she didn’t listen. It had been a little rough; his mom had given a weird little bow and his father had refused to drop the subject of how she hadn’t finished college. He couldn’t wrap his head around why she hadn’t just “put herself out there” for a full-ride if she couldn’t afford tuition.
“People like you always seem to get awarded something when you apply yourself,” he’d insisted cheerily.
It was two years in, after the vase, when she’d finally told them off. She remembered shaking as she addressed them over the tense video call, Ryan’s warm, supportive hands on her shoulders. To them, she was an ungrateful scapegoat. She was sure she would shatter onto the dining room floor if he hadn’t been holding her. Ryan was soon to be the only family she had left.
It was past noon now, lunch settling awkwardly in Nicole’s stomach. She’d managed to eat half her portion of pad thai, which was progress; she hadn’t had much of an appetite since her Restoration. She couldn’t shake the knowledge that this was not the stomach she had been using her entire life. It was organic, but artificial. Hers, but not.
